It’s time I sever a few friendships for good!
Ok.
I’m being a bit dramatic but this topic will definitely rub a few of your friends the wrong way.

It’s time to stop loosing your good girlfriends over dick. Yes. I’ve finally said it. You are literally losing homies because of a body part.

Now I’ve touched on this topic in the past. I’ve made it very clear that to be a good friend you often have to let your adult friends make their own adult mistakes. Because in all seriousness, how else do we learn? Through experiences.

But with that being said I’m allowed to call out these girls who learn the lesson and still hold a grudge against the friend who told them so!

You can’t be mad that they were right and you were made to look the fool. You can’t be in your feelings about a situation that played out exactly how they called it. You have to let that resentment go. You have to swallow your pride and admit you missed the mark on this one. And especially because the mark was a penis you knew was never worthy of you in the first place.

Keep the same energy you had when you thought you made the right choice when you find out the choice wasn’t even on the right or wrong spectrum. (It was just that bad of a situation.)

We are so quick to let pride get in the way of a good thing. We have to be willing to realize how short life is and how rare real friends are. So when the person that knows and loves you says the dude your dating isn’t it... she’s not always a hater. She’s probably just trying to avoid having to nurse you back to life. Although that in it self is selfish, it’s entirely reasonable!

So trust those girl friends but if you truly want to follow your own path, do you booboo!! But if it doesn’t go as planned! Remember to apologize to the homie who thought they knew best. And also remember to Trust Me, because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.



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I’m ready guys. I think I’m ready to delve into the taboo subject of Friends With Benefits. (Picture me putting up quotation marks.)

Oh but not in the way that would make sense and actually help you... no no. I’m going to discuss the committed relationships you think you’re in but are in all actuality a Friends With Benefits situation.

Love is patient guys.
It is also kind.
I like have these first two stanzas of the Bible verse on my wall somewhere because I believe it to be true. Often I find we need that reminder because people will try to convince you that love comes with unrelenting pain or that it’s meant to break you. It’s meant to leave you hopeless. Or out of options with your back against the ropes.

Nope, it’s supposed to actually do the exact opposite. I know. What a crazy idea.
Are you currently with someone who’s not even remotely close to being that for you. Like he or she is occasionally at their best. Occasionally good to you and more than often they’re just good to you in bed.
Yes I said it. You’re holding on to this relationship because they’re Good. In. Bed. They even hold you right afterwards. They sometimes even whisper sweet nothings. But then you both go back to your normal lives where they’re an asshole to you. Or they lie to you constantly and you just take it. You literally just take it and say you love them. You’re basically friends with benefits but okay... you love them.

Love is not only patient and kind hunny. In fact let’s finish that verse.
“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
And let’s keep going with the three verse that follows. “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

You see, love is a lot of things but it’s definitely not just pretty good sex. It requires more of the person. I’m going to shock you right now and suggest what you’re actually feeling is lust. It’s the strong desire to feel good in spite of. In spite of how shitty they treat you. In spite of how often they lie to you. In spite of how little they actually care about you.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with a friends with benefits situation! As long as you call it what it is hunny and stop lying to yourself about what it isn’t.
And I’ll have you know that the 1st Corinthians verse continues by saying “Love never fails.” So Trust Me... because I also never fail and you know I Can’t Lie.



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You did it. You finally stood up for yourself. You told your significant other to kick rocks. You deserve better and though you’ve always known that to be true, this time you’ve pronounced it to be true.

So why does it still hurt like a MFker? Why do you still feel the effects of loosing the battle in spite of winning the war? How can you get past it? How can you move on? And quickly because you’re not sure how much of this pain you can handle.

24 hours sound good?
It does right. It sounds ideal. Like you’ve devoted a full day to process your feelings and now you’ve conclusively agreed that you not only made the right decision but the most honest decision. You’re no longer lying to yourself about the status of your love life. So being okay by like the next day is perfect... Funny how perfection is highly unattainable though.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the worst part hasn’t even hit you yet. Wait until they’ve moved on before you. Or wait until they attempt to get you back after a few years. You think you’re being tested now? You have no idea the potential for pain that awaits you. But guess what, you do eventually get through it. You do eventually get over it. And you do eventually heal. It just won’t be within 24 hours. If you’re lucky it may take a few weeks. Most likely it’ll take a few months. And unfortunately for some it may take years.

But you do get through it. Have you met someone who remained heartbroken over someone who did them wrong for their entire life? They might still be bitter about the situation, but heartbroken? Nah. Because time literally does heal all wounds. Time erases all the scars.

So just give it time. Give yourself as much time as you need. Don’t rush it. Don’t rush to reassimilate yourself back into the world. Take more than a single day to process all those feelings. And when you’re ready, you’ll know. But don’t forget to thank me when you do, because you knew I couldn’t lie.


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We all have a Hard No in the bedroom. You know that one thing we aren’t willing to do with our sexual partner. There’s no negotiating, you’re just not here for it and you’ll never be. That’s fine! I just wish you’d apply Hard No’s to your relationship.

I can’t believe I have to say this but if your significant other flirts with one of your best friends or your family member, the only I’m sorry you should accept is in the form of them saying you can do better than me; i hereby resign my position as your partner.
Trying to get with someone that close to you behind your back or directly in front of you is a HARD NO. Family and friends should be your limit to their madness. And don’t hold it in their favor that they weren’t able to actually go forward with it and cheat with your friend or family. I can already hear y’all crediting your boo for failing at cheating. “Well he didn’t go through with it so is it really that bad?” Yess! It’s that bad. If they can try with people you love and trust, then they’ve most definitely tried and probably succeeded with people who don’t give a damn about you.

I get it. Girls can be trifling. Men are deceitful. So taking what someone tells you at face value over your significant other is hard. It’s more than hard, it’s life or death at times. After all, a relationship without trust will never work in the long run. I get it. I actually respect that faith in your partner. However, when you’re provided with concrete proof like a text message, or a voicemail, or even pictures from someone as close to you as your friend or family member, there’s a certain amount of weight you give that person.

Honey, in relationships, some things are forgivable. Although I’m not a fan, cheating can be a forgivable offense. To each their own on that one. Lying is a forgivable offense. Again I say to each their own. But everything should not and cannot be forgivable when it comes to sharing your life with someone. You have to make boundaries. You have to have a limit to the damage. You have to exert standards because if not, you will live your life as a doormat. You will continually get taken advantage of, lied to and essentially abused.

So exercise those hard no’s. The things you would and could never stand for in any relationship. You don’t have to accept that kind of love. I hear you saying it’s not that simple. He’s my husband. She’s the mother of my kids. We’ve been together too long. It was a trap, he’s normally able to be on his best behavior. STOP. No more excuses babes... it’s okay to choose you. And always remember to Trust Me... because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.


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Second chances are beautiful. Third chances can be fleeting. Fourth chance? Now you're just asking for the abuse. 

Well sweety, sometimes it's not that you deserve better but that you deserve more than they're willing to give. It is completely possible to meet someone who fulfills all you were hoping for in a mate but for that person to not feel the same way about you. 

You've turned 26, or you've hit your late twenties, you're still single, and all your friends are either married, engaged or have found the 14th love of their life. And you? Well you're just trying to get to your dentist appointment on time just once. And then it hits you! You're closing in on 30. And an entire flood of concerns take over. What if I die an old maid? Will I ever meet the one or am I doomed to a life of assholes? Am I going to have to go to a sperm bank?  Or are my eggs already useless? 

Five minutes of attention. 20 mins of ignoring you.

You've done it. You committed to your girlfriend. I'm proud of you. You are growing up right before my eyes... (In my mind we've known each other forever, play along). Now some time has passed, you're both very comfortable within the relationship but things start to change. Not always so sudden, sometimes the change is gradual. And change isn't necessarily bad. Except now she's nagging you and complaining. And you my friend want to know why. What did you do to offend her? Why has the honeymoon period ended?

Be careful what bridges you burn.

When you've walked out the door and ended a relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic in nature, be careful how you handle that door. 
You can close the door. Let them bang. You can even lock it. But don't break off the knob.

A fantabulous reader asked me... 

There are few things I find more insulting than being treated like the side chick when you're his girl friend or significant other. It's obvious that the "side chick" is the one that you have to schedule time for, the one you can't see as much, and the one who's main purpose is usually sexual in nature.