Why Women Are Attracted to Unavailable Men?

Recalling my own questionable behavior over the past year and my interesting conversations with some of my lady friends, I found myself wondering Why Women are Attracted to Unavailable Men?

I believe if you’re looking for a partner, you should expect him to give you all of them self. And that is precisely what a person that is unavailable cannot give you. 

An unavailable man can come in many forms.
He can be either...
Emotionally Unavailable or
Legally Unavailable or
Physically Unavailable
But it not limited to those three types.



Let's start with the Mr. I'm emotionally unavailable.
He's just came out of a bad relationship and he thinks he's ready to join the dating pool but he's still carrying all those bad emotions with him. He's a real gem at first but once the relationship becomes serious, you find that he's distant, he doesn't open up, and he takes the relationship less seriously than you.
And yet...
You stick around. Work through the problems. And hope for the Best.
And the best may come...
But know that it rarely ever does.
He's Mr. I'm emotionally unavailable.
Mr. I'm not ready for a serious relationship.
Mr. It’s not you...It’s Me.
He's a waste of a woman's time but for some reason you’re so attracted to him and you don't know why!

Mr. Legally Unavailable. He's my favorite.
He's the man that can't be fully yours because he legally belongs to someone else. Yes! He's married. And he has little to no intention of leaving his darling spouse.
He may promise you he will, but deep down you know he's not going anywhere. Thus he's your Mr. Legally Unavailable and once you've gotten past his legal chains, you're comfortably set in your ways. However Triflin or Not =) it may be. But you don't know why!

And then there is Mr. Physically Unavailable.
He is always too busy to spend any physical time with you. He will make time for everyone else in the world but you. You probably get a host of good and sucky excuses from him as to why. But you're still hanging around, waiting for him to give you that time of day and you really don't know why!

Do you really want to know why you're so attracted to that unavailable man?
Logically he is No Good! In fact, you've contemplated ending it numerous times. You've actually expressed your frustrations or concerns with him once or twice. So why are you, this fantabulous woman, still devoting your time to an Unavailable man?

Because you are an Unavailable Woman.
It did not take me long to realize just how much women are actually comfortable with the above scenarios.
When you’re an Unavailable Woman, you don't want to be tied down to any guy. You’re not looking to find the one, you're barely hoping to stumble across him.
You're asking for an available man because he is what you logically deserve. Someone who can give all of himself to you, his time, his emotions, his entire heart, his loyalty...etc.
But your settling for an Unavailable man because deep way way down inside of lil ole you, hides this girl, who's afraid of real commitment.
A girl who's afraid of a lasting relationship.
A girl who lacks the real desire to share something too meaningful with a person because...
...she rather be committed to a relationship she knows will ultimately never work, then a relationship where she has no idea as to what will ultimately happen!   
It’s actually pretty darn brilliant on her part.
Perhaps it's like...
Why set yourself up for unknown failure when you can set yourself up for preknown failure.

Women may take the efforts to change their unavailable boo into an available one.
And I say more power to you, for genuinely believing that you want more.
The fact that you've stuck around for this long with an unavailable man only tells me that you won't be actually ready for a committed relationship until you leave.
Women at a certain point might just be ready for a serious committed relationship. Or they might just be trying to convince themselves slowly that they've got to be open to the following possibility.

In every relationship, brother / sister, boss / employee, boyfriend / girlfriend, there will be a possibility that you will get hurt. You'll get disappointed, Lied to, betrayed, and sometimes made a fool. But that's the risk you've got to be willing to take because life was never meant to be easy. Life was not meant to be perfect. There is going to be rough bumps and trips and falls and nasty scars. But know that no matter what life throws at you, you're meant for something great. You've just got to believe it for yourself. Once you believe it, I know you'll work your darndest to make it happen.
And great people don't settle for unavailable men.
You've had your fun!
You've attempted to dodge the love bug for long enough. Time to invest in an available man.

Because Trust Me... I Can't Lie about this kind of stuff.  I'm living it =)
Don't Forget To Comment ;-)

11 Response to Why Women Are Attracted to Unavailable Men?

Danielle Sans
February 4, 2011 at 12:16 AM

HaHa so true! We all deserve better and that's exactly what we should be looking for. We should only be having fun with the unavailable men not falling in love with them.

February 4, 2011 at 8:46 AM

HaHa so true! We all deserve better and that's exactly what we should be getting. We should only be having fun with the unavailable men not falling in love with them.

Anonymous
October 8, 2011 at 1:24 AM

I wish it was so much easier to draw the line between sex and love...I hate that men can do this so easily and I cant.

Anonymous
October 25, 2011 at 1:57 AM

This makes sense. Too bad it doesn't make it okay...

Anonymous
April 6, 2012 at 10:44 PM

My problem is I cant become attracted to the available man...I met this guy recently weve been hanging out his personality is golden hes the sweetest most available guy out there but for some reason i cant physically latch on to him, hes power lifter and he has NO fat on his body anywhere, hes all muscle, hes 6ft2 and huge....theres nothing wrong with him, and this happens to me every time i find a guy...

Anonymous
July 21, 2012 at 2:01 PM

I realized I was avoiding getting hurt and was just not ready for a commitment. Was scared. But I do feel I am ready and I am no longer settling and go after what I want. I am now ready for that commitment. Life is too short to live in fear!

Anonymous
August 21, 2012 at 11:54 AM

This blog just brought back my sanity! Thanx so much!!!

Anonymous
September 18, 2012 at 11:25 PM

I sat here reading this post trying to figure out what went wrong in my past several relationships, including my marriage. I blamed my latest ex partner for being emotionally unavailable, but when I read this post, it described me to a tee. I sit here and look for all these men's faults, rationalizing why things didn't work. What I have just discovered, it is my own unavailablity as to why I end up with these men. Tears come easily and what a slap in the face I needed. I can no longer soley blame them and search out all their faults when in fact I need to fix my own. Thank yo for this.

Anonymous
September 19, 2012 at 3:00 PM

This is soo me you definitely hit it on the nose...I feel like I'm at that age I need a commited relationship but when the opportunity comes I back away
& settle for that unavailable man.

Anonymous
May 6, 2013 at 11:30 PM

This really help me figure out exactly what is wrong with me. I never really understood why I latch onto emotionally unavailable men. Thank you for this post. Very helpful!!

Anonymous
May 24, 2014 at 4:00 AM

Wow, I'm still processing this: "So why are you, this fantabulous woman, still devoting your time to an Unavailable man? ... Because you are an Unavailable Woman." I have a feeling that's true. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it shall set you free!

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