You did it. You finally stood up for yourself. You told your significant other to kick rocks. You deserve better and though you’ve always known that to be true, this time you’ve pronounced it to be true.

So why does it still hurt like a MFker? Why do you still feel the effects of loosing the battle in spite of winning the war? How can you get past it? How can you move on? And quickly because you’re not sure how much of this pain you can handle.

24 hours sound good?
It does right. It sounds ideal. Like you’ve devoted a full day to process your feelings and now you’ve conclusively agreed that you not only made the right decision but the most honest decision. You’re no longer lying to yourself about the status of your love life. So being okay by like the next day is perfect... Funny how perfection is highly unattainable though.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the worst part hasn’t even hit you yet. Wait until they’ve moved on before you. Or wait until they attempt to get you back after a few years. You think you’re being tested now? You have no idea the potential for pain that awaits you. But guess what, you do eventually get through it. You do eventually get over it. And you do eventually heal. It just won’t be within 24 hours. If you’re lucky it may take a few weeks. Most likely it’ll take a few months. And unfortunately for some it may take years.

But you do get through it. Have you met someone who remained heartbroken over someone who did them wrong for their entire life? They might still be bitter about the situation, but heartbroken? Nah. Because time literally does heal all wounds. Time erases all the scars.

So just give it time. Give yourself as much time as you need. Don’t rush it. Don’t rush to reassimilate yourself back into the world. Take more than a single day to process all those feelings. And when you’re ready, you’ll know. But don’t forget to thank me when you do, because you knew I couldn’t lie.


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My friendship sympathy works in stages. In the beginning I will be your shoulder to cry on for hours at a time. I will come over to your home, make sure you eat, force you into a shower. I will listen to you analyze and re analyze where you and your boo went wrong. I will listen to you justify his transgressions. I will help you blow your nose. I will be your RIDE OR DIE. That’s just how deep my love goes. I don’t like to see others in pain. If I can help ease the pain by being there, that’s what you can count on me to do.

Towards a month after the situation, you will notice that I’m super angry at the person. Within this stage, I become less sympathetic and often demand that you accept your current reality. It’s over. You need to focus on healing. You need to focus on you. I will help you do that. I will provide distractions. I will take you out. I will force you to face the world you’ve left behind. And eventually you will want to do all of that on your own.

But then... as you’re healing, getting back to life, you will notice that they haven’t called or texted. They haven’t tried to get you back. And this will drive you crazy. And this will also drive ME crazy. The final stage of my sympathy.
Now I think you need some tough love. You need a dose of good old reality. I hate when my my friends waste precious time wondering about how or what their ex is doing. He’s not worried about you in the way that you’re still obsessing over him.
He’s out here living his best life and you’re balled up in a corner crying. At this moment in time, you need to cut the umbilical cord. You need to not only accept that it’s over but start living like it’s over. Go on dates. Start a new hobby. Create new memories with new people. Love your friends a little harder. Obsess over your family.

You’ve already been through the worst. It’s time to get back to living your own best life. And when you do, remember to Trust Me... because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.

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;-)

My friends are really mad that I'm practically best friends with one of my exes. They think I'm setting myself up for failure. I don't blame them. This is an ex that notoriously was able to rope me back in time and time again after he put me threw hell. "He doesn't deserve my friendship." I want to agree with them but I can't. The notion that Ex's Cant Be Friends is a lie!

The thing is that my ex and I were kids when we first started dating and barely adults when we ended it for the 100th time. I've grown since then and have come to realize that everything I went through in our relationship made me exactly who I am today. And I am so much better for it. Hence why my blogs are filled with so much wisdom! The things some of my girl friends go through now, I went through a decade ago and can offer real life advice. So I don't hate him. They definitely prefer I do but I could never hate someone who meant so much to me since I was 15. We grew up together. We know each other inside and out and when we talk about life its natural. Never forced. I don't have to pretend with him and he doesn't have to pretend with me. That's a real friendship.

So why am I writing this blog?!

I want my readers to know that your friends often have the best intentions. They love you after all. And unbeknownst to them, I am listening to their concerns. I haven't seen my ex in person for the last five years. I realize that it can become a slippery slope. You know, hanging out with an ex. And I am so against backsliding. I can thank him for teaching me that. So I am practicing what I realized as my own boundaries. I'm free to chat with him and catch up. I'm free to admire his growth as he lives out life. But I probably won't be at the next family BBQ and he probably won't be invited to my Christmas party.

So hunny, just like its more than okay to cut an ex off completely, it's just as okay to be FRIENDS with an ex. As long as you remember that they're your EX for a reason. Also remember to Trust Me Because You Knew I Couldn't Lie.

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A fantabulous reader asked me... 

There can be a multitude of reasons for why someone has a hard time getting over their ex and moving on.

A special reader sent me a question that kicked my butt trying to come up with a truthful, helpful, and realistic response. You see this question is a topic I haven't fully mastered myself. But of course, I've made sure that this post will be all of the above and hopefully a little more.

I believe that getting over an ex-partner should be the easiest part of being in a relationship. I mean, after all you've went through, all the drama and pain and frustration, adjusting to life without all of those negative things should be easy... But for a lot of people it’s the hardest part. That's why this topic kicked my butt because there is no set formula to getting over a past relationship. But, I've researched and soul searched =) and evaluated how I've handled this kind of topic in the past and reviewed what did work and what did not work.