I’m ready guys. I think I’m ready to delve into the taboo subject of Friends With Benefits. (Picture me putting up quotation marks.)

Oh but not in the way that would make sense and actually help you... no no. I’m going to discuss the committed relationships you think you’re in but are in all actuality a Friends With Benefits situation.

Love is patient guys.
It is also kind.
I like have these first two stanzas of the Bible verse on my wall somewhere because I believe it to be true. Often I find we need that reminder because people will try to convince you that love comes with unrelenting pain or that it’s meant to break you. It’s meant to leave you hopeless. Or out of options with your back against the ropes.

Nope, it’s supposed to actually do the exact opposite. I know. What a crazy idea.
Are you currently with someone who’s not even remotely close to being that for you. Like he or she is occasionally at their best. Occasionally good to you and more than often they’re just good to you in bed.
Yes I said it. You’re holding on to this relationship because they’re Good. In. Bed. They even hold you right afterwards. They sometimes even whisper sweet nothings. But then you both go back to your normal lives where they’re an asshole to you. Or they lie to you constantly and you just take it. You literally just take it and say you love them. You’re basically friends with benefits but okay... you love them.

Love is not only patient and kind hunny. In fact let’s finish that verse.
“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
And let’s keep going with the three verse that follows. “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

You see, love is a lot of things but it’s definitely not just pretty good sex. It requires more of the person. I’m going to shock you right now and suggest what you’re actually feeling is lust. It’s the strong desire to feel good in spite of. In spite of how shitty they treat you. In spite of how often they lie to you. In spite of how little they actually care about you.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with a friends with benefits situation! As long as you call it what it is hunny and stop lying to yourself about what it isn’t.
And I’ll have you know that the 1st Corinthians verse continues by saying “Love never fails.” So Trust Me... because I also never fail and you know I Can’t Lie.



Don't Forget To Comment ;-)

After completing the boat safari we jumped on Sri Lanka’s only major highway to head back to Colombo. Since my flight left very late, Sanju took me to a few souvenir shops at my request before giving me a tour of the capital city. We visited a few places of national significance and with a little more time to kill he took me to the waterfront. It was magical. We walked for a little bit and I admired the sun go down. And in it that moment I thought, was this really just a fantasy in my head? What kind of move was that to take me to the waterfront right when the sun was about to set? Did he not get how much I was starting to like him and how much I knew I couldn’t!


He took me to one last stop so I could eat before going to the airport. He convinced to try one of their dishes called Kothu Parotta It sounded inedible to me but turned out to be very delicious. And this time he sat with me and we had dinner together. If I hadn’t already paid him for his services in the car, I would have thought he was trying to butter me up for an extra tip which he did in fact get by the way. He deserved it more than he knew. After our dinner together he dropped me off at the airport. I did the same goodbye I do to all my guides promising to return with a slew of friends. He hugged me. Yes, he hugged me not the other way around and it wasn’t brief in the slightest. Another life time Sanju. Another lifetime.


I had fallen madly deeply and unapologetically.... in love with traveling. Every town, city, village, or country I’ve visited held a special place in my heart. They’ve matured me. They’ve made me more secure as a woman. They’ve inspired me. They’ve even redeemed me on certain occasions. So I didn’t actually meet the love of my life in Sri Lanka but I came to the realization that I had already found a deep love for something in the last three years of touring the world. And every time a flight deal popped up or Trip Advisors posted an awe inspiring picture of yet another dope place in the world, I get excited. I get excited knowing there’s still so much of the world for me to see. For me to explore. For me to fall that much deeper in love with.

Traveling may have saved my life. If not for a quick weekend trip to the Poconos wherein I spent the majority of my time in a hot tub, I wouldn’t have provoked, rather exposed what was going on with me in the form of an attack. I haven’t had another attack since I first suffered from double vision. I’ve been extremely blessed and fortunate. As a result, I live my life exactly that way, knowing how extremely fortunate I am. At first, I was convinced that my diagnosis would render me an invalid before I knew it. This lurking concern that I won’t be able to be adventurous because my disease may take a turn for the worst is truly what makes me so bold, so fearless. So to everyone who thinks so highly of my travels, and labels me this brave human (including my neurologist), because I often do it all alone, you should know I have an extra battery in my back motivating to do what I’ve done. I can’t wait to see what I’ve got planned next!

**My guides true identity and name has been changed to protect his privacy. And mostly thats because I’m a mess for insinuating that he was anything more than professional**

Feeling nice, I enjoyed an elaborate four course meal at the resort restaurant. I had the hotel staff take pictures of me in my birthday outfit, yes I dressed up for the occasion even though I’d be by myself. I ate and enjoyed the smooth sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks. If I hadn’t already deemed this to be my best birthday ever, it was. Sri Lanka had wowed me. It was everything I had wanted and more. Truly a hidden gem. An unsolicited friend. And a lifelong companion. I was moved and slept like a baby that night right after enjoying my Jacuzzi.


The next day we began the journey back to Colombo. We stopped along the way for local Ceylon milk tea. And that concoction by a small little shop off the road was the best team I’ve ever had. I don’t know what they put in it but it was divine. So maybe Sri Lanka was good at tea after all. After a quick morning pick me up for the both of us, we went for my photo opportunity with stilt fisherman. Sanju had already told me that they don’t actually fish that way anymore. Now they just sat there waiting for tourist to want a picture and then they would charge them for it. Stilt fishing was unique to Sri Lanka so I didn’t mind paying for a photo session. Sanju carefully helped me negotiate a fair price before I proceeded to pretend I was a stilt fisherman and climb up those narrow stilts. It was worth it! Even on my injured ankle that was getting better by the way... it’s only crazy if it doesn’t work I thought. The last excursion I wanted to do before I left was a boat safari.


A smooth sail down the river included a stop to visit Cinnamon Island. Cinnamon Island as the boat operator called it was a small island within the river way where an elderly man showed us and a few others how he makes cinnamon from scratch. He let us smell the bark, participate in grinding it before selling us it in powder, stick and oil form. I chose not to indulge since cinnamon can be found at your local bodega back in NY. He claimed cinnamon had all these natural health benefits. I’m not saying I didn’t believe him, I’m just saying I could get the exact same product in New York at my local bodega! As the boat sailed on, we stopped next to another smaller boat. There was the most beautiful baby monkey I had ever seen! I’m sure this was a part of the attraction but they had no idea that this short brief stop along one of the last excursions I had planned would be the highlight of my time in Sri Lanka. In Bali, I got to enjoy having a monkey on my shoulder and I thought that was the highlight of my life but in Sri Lanka, I got to hold one in my arms and have him hug me back. He was so perfect. I didn’t want to give him back. I briefly thought of Sanju, our baby monkey and I living on the island together having the time of our lives. It was brief. The moment was fleeting. And before I knew it I had to hand back the little guy to his owner.


On our way back down the river we visited another sacred Buddha temple in the form of an entire small island. A multitude of Buddha statues including one of him fasting until he starved himself to just bones, was on full display. I then asked to stop the boat at a floating coconut shop where I had my second King coconut. The first one, Sanju generously offered and bought for me back on our way to Dambulla. He said that they would charge a tourist more. Do you see why it was easy to be so smitten? He really was just a good guy. We then sailed to a fish spa. You read it right. Similar to the suggestion by a stranger in Greece, I subjected myself to having my feet gnawed on by a bunch of fish. The fish were a lot bigger than the ones I remembered in Greece. I was bit nervous at first but the tickling feeling I remember from my first solo trip came back. And this time it was so much cheaper. Sri Lanka proving once again to be the exception to every rule. Who says you can’t get a good pedicure for five dollars?

I was spent after lunch and just wanted to get a head start to the beautiful beach town of Unawatuna so I opted to skip the second half of my full day safari. I had honestly already seen so much! On our way out the park, I was greeted by a sea of beautiful petite monkeys along the road. You should know that I’m obsessed and always have been, with monkeys! All apes in general for that matter. So this was like icing on an already beautifully decorated cake. Sanju told me that I had extreme luck for my birthday because just the week before his clients complained about not seeing any elephants and not only did we spot multiple elephants on our safari, I also was able to catch a glimpse of the illusive leopards and even a crocodile. Two even more rare animals he told me. After the safari guide dropped us back at Sanju’s car, he unloaded a surprise on me. He had arranged for me to visit a local Ayurveda spa. Ayurveda is a type of holistic spa treatment. The spa he brought me to was pretty rural and not fancy like the spas I was use to in the states so I was highly skeptical about if I’d enjoy it. But Sanju had an alternate reason for bringing me to the spa. I had injured my foot in Kandy on a broken step so my ankle had swollen up a bit. This gesture to not only take me to the spa but to one with a holistic doctor on site is why it was easy to fall for Sanju. He honestly was the sweetest. He was constantly going above and beyond my expectations of what was expected of a tour guide. Before you even begin to judge me, I still didn’t know about the wife and kid as yet. The doctor on site examined my foot and told me I hadn’t broken any bones nor did I tear any of my ligaments. It was just a really bad sprain. He gave me therapeutic oil and told me to rub my feet with it every night, dress it with a warm compress and keep my foot elevated as much as I could. Although I planned to get a spa treatment on my birthday the following day, Sanju encouraged me to get a massage and since it was such a nice gesture to bring me to the local spa I opted for a full body Ayurveda massage. To be honest he didn’t have to convince me much. I was already intrigued by the entire experience thus far. I mean an oil for my injured ankle, what had I gotten myself into? No Sanju and I didn’t do a couples massage like I half expected. Just kidding. I must have been only partially kidding because the full body massage was so good that I naturally fell asleep. Are you also tired of how much I napped on this trip? While I slept I had this extremely inappropriate dream about Sanju and me. And after I woke up at the end of the massage I began to think about if I was okay moving to Sri Lanka for this man. I mean, it truly was a beautiful country and since I spoke better English then him, we could do these tours together. Yes, after only four days I was plotting on how I could make this relationship work. Would we be bicontinental (I know it’s not an actual word) or would we resolve to live in one country over the other?

After getting back in the car and proceeding to ride to Unawatuna, I was still a bit tired from the mornings early Safari so I just positioned myself to fall back to sleep. As if he knew what dirty dreams I was about to conduct he asked me how did I like the massage. I didn’t want to tell him just how good it was so I offered a simple nod and said it was nice. I then asked him if he believed an oil would heal my foot. And this is when he blew my world wide open. He explained that he too used to be skeptical of Ayurveda treatments and holistic things of that nature but that after his WIFE and he got married, they had trouble conceiving for years. A friend suggested he see a doctor similar to the one he brought me to and after prescribing a special set of natural pills and a diet, they conceived their first child within the year and she was pregnant with their second as well.

Okay. Is your world just as shattered as mine? Okay maybe not so much seeing that I did spoil this for you and it is like technically wrong to lust after another woman’s man. Maybe you think I’m crazy for claiming to fall for someone in four days. But we literally spent every waking moment together just getting to know each other. And I think having a wife and kid is something he could have mentioned much earlier on. So I and my broken heart sat quietly for the rest of the ride. I didn’t dare nap and further subject myself to fantasies that no longer were a possibility. When we arrived at the Pink Elephant in Unawatuna, I enjoyed an amazing seafood diner. I have to give this one restaurant a shout out by name. The meal was truly phenomenal. Sanju patiently waited for me to finish before dropping me off at the resort I was staying in while in Unawatuna. It was a little bit more expensive than the other hotels I stayed in thus far but it was where I’d be spending my actual birthday so it seemed worth it to splurge on my last few days. The Aqua Cantelope hotel deserves a shout out as well since they not only gave me amazing service during my entire stay but they upgraded my room upon checking in. I got to enjoy gorgeous views of the ocean from my bed. The room even included a Jacuzzi and the most relaxing rain shower ever. I was in heaven.




On my actual birthday I woke up super early once again for Sanju to drive me to the town of Marissa where I would be going on a whale and dolphin watching tour. I had actually already seen dolphins up close in North Bali but I was excited to see whales. On a much larger boat than I was in in Bali, we sailed far out into the ocean amongst a few other vessels chasing down these beautiful creatures. Sanju and I got there a little later than everyone else so I had to sit a little farther from the edge of the boat. One of the men from the boats enormous crew, noticed me straining to see and take pictures. When he approached me I thought I was in trouble because tourists never listen. Depending on what side of the boat you sat you were either supposed to stand or sit to allow the other half of the boat a chance to see. When he gave me the utmost special treatment I was beside myself. Maybe Sanju wasn’t in to me. Maybe all Sri Lankan men are exceptionally kind and accommodating. The crewmen told me to follow him to where the captain / guy who was manning the boat, was standing. He and the captain showed me where to stand and look to catch the best pictures and videos of the whales as we rode. Sometimes they would stop and wait for the same whale to surface again. The blue whale, believed to be world’s largest animal to have ever lived, surfaced to the air approximately every twenty minutes for air. I eventually felt awkward getting all the special treatment as the rest of the passengers looked on enviously so I sat back down and thanked them both with a hug. When the excursion was over I half expected one of them to ask me for my number as they helped me off the large boat and I also hoped they did it right as Sanju who was waiting for me on land looked on but they didn’t. Again, you promised not to judge! Sanju however asked me how my trip was and I was all too happy to brag about special treatment on the boat. He then said they’re a good crew of guys and he was happy that I enjoyed it. So freaking nice and polite at a times. I loved it even though I was bothered by how unbothered he was by my story.

When he dropped me back at my hotel I encouraged him to take a break. I’d find something to do on my birthday. To be honest I just planned to relax, enjoy all the amenities of my room and maybe even fit in another spa treatment. He agreed and told me to ring him just once to let him know I needed him to come back for whatever reason. Although they fed us on the morning boat tour and the resort also provided me with a small breakfast bag of food to go, I was starving by the time the afternoon hit. Can you believe that I ordered lunch at the restaurant and they hand deliver my food to my room free of charge? I ate like a queen on the balcony of my mini suite enjoying gorgeous views of Sri Lanka’s pristine waters. My birthday was panning out to be the best one yet. My trip so far was life changing. I had learned so much. I developed a silly school girl crush. I was being treated like I was royalty. Everyone I encountered thus far was so nice! I was super satisfied with my choice. I got a call reminded me that I had scheduled a spa treatment in the resort and they asked me to come a little earlier than I had originally booked. It actually worked out better for me. When I tell you the full body massage, hair treatment and facial gave me new life, I mean it. It was the most relaxing, exhilarating experience I’ve ever had at a spa. I literally felt like a brand new person. I may have been overly thankful as I tipped the two girls. Oh yes, two women worked on me at the same damn time. I would legit fly back to Sri Lanka just for that spa treatment alone.

When I returned to my room I wanted to keep my relaxation going so I opted for a warm soak in the hot tub in my room. Just as I was about to get comfortable, the hotel rang me to let me know that my driver was downstairs. For sure thinking it was a mistake I quickly put on my pajamas and flip flops before I walked down stairs to the lobby. Sanju actually was there. Thinking I forgot something on the itinerary I quickly apologized without even asking what item I missed and offered to quickly get ready to go out. He then smiled and said to follow him to the hotels dining area. And there, like straight out of a movie was a small group of the hotel staff surrounding a giant chocolate cake saying simply Happy 30th Birthday Amanda. It was the gesture that pushed me completely over the edge. I had completely fallen. After I repeated are you serious a thousand times he and the hotel staff sang me happy birthday. I may or may not have shed a tear or two. It was all too much. How dare this man who was unavailable to me be so damn amazing? He sat with me for a little bit as I enjoyed my cake. For the first time he actually enjoyed a meal with me. After raving about how good the cake was, I asked if it was from the hotel. He then broke the news that he actually went a way out of town to get it from a small local bakery. He knew I was all by myself on another solo trip and he didn’t want me to feel alone on my birthday. The sweetest. I could swear! I couldn’t possibly eat the entire cake on my own, nor did I plan to bring it with us when we left for Colombo the next day so I asked him to give it back to the hotel staff and have them eat and share it amongst themselves. As I got up to return to my room, he said to wait for them to bring me back a piece of the cake. He thought it’s only right I enjoy it for at least a few more hours. I explained that I planned to have my birthday dinner here and didn’t want to eat too much of it and he still urged me to save a piece.


Okay. Now really don't judge me. He kind of invited himself to my room. Well not for anything solicitous, okay maybe a little solicitous, he had their nationally whiskey with him and he said we couldn’t open it in front of hotel staff. We briefly discussed on the safari lunch break what national drinks Sri Lanka had and he had mentioned there was a really famous one I should try. And like the amazing man he was, he went and got a bottle for me to try as a gift. We sipped and cheered a glass or two of the potent whisky. Well I did. He just watched. And because I was already full on in love with him I thought he was trying to seduce me. I even thought maybe he put something in this brand new bottle of whiskey. A thousand thoughts went through my mind as we just sat on the couch while I sipped. He asked if he could tour the room and of course I nodded yes. He was very impressed with my pick. He had chosen all the other hotels throughout the trip. I told him I was willing to splurge on my birthday but had no idea they would upgrade me to a suite of this magnitude. He walked out onto the balcony and that’s when I realized that I was still dressed in my damn pajamas with a scarf on my head. I looked full on homeless. Okay maybe not homeless, I’m actually pretty in most things but there was no way he was trying to seduce me. Snapping back to reality, he asked me what I had planned for the night and I offered again that I had plans for dinner downstairs in the hotel. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to invite him to join me because again, though out this entire trip he hadn’t once joined me for a meal other than the birthday cake. So I don’t invite him. He asked me how I liked the whiskey and I said it was strong. To be honest I was already beginning to feel those two glasses. It suddenly became awkward. Him in my room. Me feeling a bit tipsy. And so I told him I should start getting ready for dinner and he took the hint to either offer to join me or leave. He choose the latter. He wished me a happy birthday once more and we agreed on a time for him to pick me up in the morning.

This was probably the first day I didn’t have to wake up ridiculously early. As we drove to tea country as I called it in Elle, Sanju stopped several times at what he considered the most picturesque spots of tea plantations. And this is why I’m convinced Sri Lanka has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. Lush green views were breathtaking at most and downright not fare to a New Yorker like myself. Tall buildings be damned compared to the views I was gifted with seeing in Sri Lanka. I had asked to be taken to a waterfall along the way and boy did he deliver with Ramboda Falls. It was beautiful. He even had us take a photo together. I know. Cute. We were taking a liking to each other. Before long we had arrived on a tea plantation. I know what you’re thinking, was slave labor involved? Okay... so maybe I was the only one that thought so but No! They’re paid. It started to rain so I wasn’t allowed to tour and have the workers show me how they plucked their tea but the owner of Damro Tea who just happened to be Sanju’s good friend offered a tea tasting and factory tour instead for free. After trying their tea, I will admit I wasn’t that impressed but the factory tour that followed was pretty educational. A great deal goes into the process of turning leaves into the tea mix we all enjoy in those little packets. Did you know that the darker your tea the longer it’s been oxidized? Did you know that tea came in various degrees of shades and colors? Tea is Sri Lanka’s bread and butter. They export tons and tons of tea throughout Asia. After a quick stop at one of Sri Lanka’s oldest post offices made into a mini museum and one more awe inspiring waterfall, we proceeded on our way to Yala National Park. I was most excited about this because I was finally going to be able to do a real animal safari. The drive to the southernmost part of the island was long so as you can imagine I napped but not before asking Sanju a ton of questions about Elle. Why it happened to be so much cooler than the rest of the island? Why did it rain so much? And lastly how many types of bananas did Sri Lanka have? The answer was 27 to the last one.



Sanju chose the town of Thissamaharama for the night. I promise you all the hotels he helped me choose were adorable. This one was no exception as the owner was a cute old man who treated me like I was royalty. His hotel was close to Yala National Park and much more affordable for me to stay in than in the actual National Park. Oh yeah, you probably should know that you can stay in the actual park overnight. They have elaborate tree houses to over the top glamping grounds as options. Being on a budget and Sanju understanding that, his pick of a quaint hotel near the National Park was on the money. I enjoyed a delicious dinner across the street from the hotel. I didn’t feel like eating alone once again at a restaurant and opted to take my food back to the hotel. They were more than happy to oblige except that they took super long to call my hotel and let me know it was ready. Sanju was chatting with the owner of the hotel when he noticed me come outside my room for the second time to check and see if my food was ready. He offered to go back to the restaurant with me and see what the holdup was. Once they saw Sanju and me they instantly apologized and Sanju insisted I sit down for dinner instead of carrying my food back to my room. The owner asked if he would be joining me and he quickly said no. I guess he didn’t want to give off the vibe that we were like together or something. He was good at keeping it pretty professional. I didn’t have the courage to tell him he didn’t need to and just how much I had become to enjoy his company. Besides he had to know by now that I was a good time. We could have continued to get to know each other. And I would have probably learned that he was married. With a kid. And another on the way. I know... bummer right. You were hoping for this great love story to unfold. Don’t worry. It will. Sanju kind of kept those details to himself. I would learn eventually.

The next day I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for my very first safari. I was beyond excited. Our hotel supplied us with breakfast to go since we had such an early start and the safari Jeep driver arrived to pick us up. He was the quiet type but Sanju promised he was the best. The week before he had been on safari with some other clients and the same guide hadn’t been available. As a result, the clients didn’t get the ultimate experience they were hoping for and left disappointed. They hadn’t seen much of the really big animals, including elephants.
So Sanju pre warned me that I had already seen three elephants along the way on the roads and to not be too disappointed if I didn’t get to see any in the Park. Immediately upon entering the park however our guide was able to coordinate with his friends and alert us to an elephant gathering where we happened upon a mommy and her baby elephant. It was too cute for words. Elephants are so beautiful and they live just as long as human, up to almost 80+ years. Did you know that a female mommy elephant is pregnant for up to 22 months? Can you imagine having to carry around a baby for that long? I guess one of the world’s biggest animals needs a little extra time cooking their babies in the oven. As we continued the safari, I sat in the Jeep holding on for dear life. The roads were rough and dusty and the truck was quite open to the elements. I rode in awe as the guide pointed out several unique birds and animals that were indigenous to the island. We even saw hyenas and warthogs. It was something straight out of the Lion King! I was so satisfied with my safari thus far when all of a sudden our guide did a swift U-turn and started to rush down the road. Sanju whispered into my ear that other guides had spotted the elusive leopard, an animal that usually only came out at night because of how hot the sun’s rays were during the day. As I held on while chewing on my banana that the hotel owner had packed, I eventually couldn’t contain my nervousness. This jeep was hardly protective enough against a wild animal like a leopard but I wasn’t about to tell the guide to stop. When we came across the two leopards sitting on a single rock together my mouth dropped. Was this real life? The guide zipped and zagged a little just so we could get the best view of the animals. And then I realized there was nothing to be afraid of. The jeeps that swarmed to give their clients a view of the animal all knew to keep their distance. Sanju went on to explain to me that the male leopard was unsuccessfully trying to mate with the female leopard. I joked and said just like human life to which Sanju just blushed and smiled. Remember I said not to judge me. I still didn’t know about his having an entire family and what not. After the male leopard gave up and left the rock, most jeeps pulled out and we were able to move up just a little closer. I was in complete heaven ogling the female leopard rest in the shade on her rock.


Since I chose a full day Safari we stopped near the beach to have lunch. Apparently the park is closed from like 2-4 I believe. My safari guide was a jack of all trades because he was also an excellent cook. The spread he provided included several Curry’s, chicken and veggies, rice, fruits and Sri Lankan beer. Sanju asked me if I drank beer before offering me one. I nodded and he then offered me like he always did a great story about Sri Lankan beer. Lions beer as it’s called, even though Sri Lanka’s history hasn’t recorded any lions on the island is one of the only beers Sri Lanka produces on the island. It’s actually quite tasty for a beer. He also explained that he personally believed that there had to be lions of sort, even if they were brought over from neighboring islands or how else would they know what they looked like to carve their image into a rock. What sound logic right? He was smart that way. The two of them both Sanju and the safari guide, (I’m sorry guys, I forgot his name), insisted I eat first before they enjoyed their portion. True gentlemen. I sat in the back of the truck with my feet hanging out and swinging, enjoying the gorgeous views of the ocean. I admired people taking a walk along the sand. When Sanju returned with the guide to finally partake in what was prepared. I asked him why there weren’t that many people on this beach. He explained that the waters were very rough on this side of the island. He also mentioned the fact that you have to practically drive about thirty minutes through the park to even reach it. As the guys ate with their hands! I quizzed them both about themselves. By the way it’s a legit custom in Sri Lanka... to eat with your hands. Messy but if it’s one of the many reasons I was so enamored by this country, it kept giving me vibes of Africa which was what I wanted all along for my birthday. If you’re wondering, nope, on this Q and A, I did not find out about his wife and kids. I know you’re reading and waiting for our love story to develop even in-spite of me spoiling the story by mentioning his wife and kid. Does it have anything to do with the fact that that I forewarned you not to judge me?

Although I had traveled a lot over the last few years, there was still something I had been dying to do, a hot air balloon ride. And picking a country as beautiful as Sri Lanka to do it was genius on my part. It would be one of the most expensive parts of my trip but Sanju made it clear when we were planning that it would be worth it. And worth it, it was. I had to wake up before humans were entering the rem part of their sleep cycle. I found that my excitement assisted in getting up on time and being ready. I panicked a little because the light in my hotel room wouldn’t turn on. I called Sanju who wasn’t actually up yet and he came to my room after investigating in the pitch dark to let me know the entire town had lost electricity but not to worry because the hotel would be turning on their generator soon. I panicked even more thinking this was a sign. I probably shouldn’t go up in a makeshift basket and balloon today. I got ready in a hurry because the entire ordeal made me lose 15 minutes. Thankfully that New York morning hustle I’m so use to kicked in and I was ready in time for my pickup by the Hot Air Balloon Company’s crew. They were actually a little late which then allowed me time to triple check if I brought all the things I would need for the morning.

We got there just in time to watch as the crew prepared the balloon for lift off from scratch. The fire they used to inflate the balloon was intimating but I was so fascinated by the entire process. We were up and away as the sun rose in the East. The ride was breathtaking. Sri Lanka from up above is captivating. The balloon pilot also pointed out a few landmarks along the way as well. We flew over towns and villages, over farm animals and wild animals. We flew amongst birds and above a Buddha before landing in a remote village. All the local children ran to the balloon. Some couldn’t speak English but that didn’t matter. What captivated you were their smiles. They were so happy to see you as if you were a long lost friend. I marveled as they climbed into the basket once we all climbed out. They looked so happy. It was contagious; you couldn’t help but smile yourself. To celebrate our flight, we enjoyed champagne with our pilot and the crew. And I must say it was worth all the money indeed.


Next on the itinerary was Dambulla Cave Temple. Since my hotel was already situated in Dambulla, the drive to the temple wasn’t too bad. I’m sure I still napped on the way there. Sanju actually preferred to visit the Temple at night but we ran out of time the day before and had to squeeze it into the following day’s itinerary. It was manageable because my hot air balloon excursion started our day pretty early. Visiting the caves I got to view a few dozen more Buddha’s. Oh I haven’t mentioned just how many Buddha’s I had already seen on the very first day. Well, a lot. And their Buddha’s were different from the chubby bald guy westerners are use too. Their Buddha’s actually resembled the Hindu Gods I learned about in Bali but they were reverenced even more strictly than the Vatican City. Sanju took this time to go over what each pose the Buddha was crafted into actually meant. Apparently there is significant meaning in each pose. What I can remember and probably the least famous of the poses is reclining Buddha. Reclining Buddha is a depiction of Buddha after having reached enlightenment resting right before he died. You can tell by the position of his feet whether they were depicting him sleeping or whether he was already dead. Buddha is a big deal in Asia. And reverence in their temples is also a huge deal. I noticed on several occasions Sanju tell other tourist to take of their hat while in the Temple grounds. He also reminded me to cover my shoulders and knew exactly at what point we were supposed to remove our shoes. I couldn’t always tell. These temples weren’t always buildings. In Dambulla we literally were visiting caves that Monks made their home and then later they added a bunch of Buddha statues and art depictions. Flip flops were super helpful on those days. And these sights weren’t always overtly special like Roman Catholic Churches with their golden statues and large depictions of Christ. Sometimes it was just a single statue of the Buddha.


We followed up visiting the caves by traveling to Kandy where our first stop was the Bahiravokanda Vihara Buddha Statue. This particular site had the common decency to explain the meaning of each of Buddha’s poses and what the artist was trying to depict with each one. One thing you will notice in Sri Lanka is how important it is to hire a guide so that you’re not just wandering around aimlessly and missing out. I could see other visitors just looking at various sites without a guide and looking bewildered. However, when you stumble upon any site that attempts to guide their visitors you’re appreciative. Bahiravokanda Vihara Buddha Statue is pretty large. I may be understating how impressive it was. The climb to the very top of the building allowed for one to marvel at beautiful views of Kandy. Kandy truly is a special city. It was bustling like a major city but provided a unique small town vibe as well. Sanju then suggested we put the next item on my Kandy itinerary until much later as the Temple we planned on going to would be opening the Tooth Relic on display for everyone’s viewing pleasure. I didn’t actually follow what he was trying to say or the fact that the Temple of Tooth contained an actual tooth. Since we had time to kill he took me to enjoy an even more beautiful view of Kandy. Kandy still had influences of British rule that annoyed me in part but also left me very impressed. Sri Lanka is pretty well developed. I enjoyed that most about the island. How I could be amongst the trees, dirt roads and random elephants and then find myself cruising down a highway out a major city in the next minute. It was truly a rare experience to have the best of both worlds at your fingertips. Sanju then took me to see a traditional Kandy dance show. This wasn’t on my itinerary as I had already seen two shows while in Bali the year before and assumed it would be much of the same thing. I decided to give it a chance because we had time to kill before visiting the Temple of Tooth. I’m actually glad I didn’t put up a fight about the addition to the itinerary. The show was spectacular. It reminded me of what I assumed circa de sole was like in the States. There was a few acrobatics incorporated into their dance routines. What I especially loved was the equal participation between the men and woman performers. In Bali, the women dancers shined while the men just played instruments. There was a nice balance between both female and male performers during the Kandy show. After the spectacular performances on stage, the fun didn’t stop as they then proceeded to give us a fire show. Performers walked across hot steamy coals and breathed fire out their mouthed. I left thoroughly entertained and I learned a valuable lesson, locals actually do know best. With all my research, I purposely excluded certain activities from my itinerary but those very activities were some of the things I enjoyed the most during my trip.



At the Temple of Tooth we ran in to a large crowd. Apparently this tooth was a bigger deal than I originally assumed. To be honest, no matter where I had visited, the crowds weren’t too bad. There was little to no wait time. I guess my birthday was just a good time to go, or maybe I complexity lucked out. Sanju tried to get me through the crowd of locals to see the infamous tooth relic. I had to know what the big deal was and this time I made sure to pay attention to Sanju’s explanation of what was going on. The tooth relic is actually hidden from the public 98% of the time. It’s usually only revealed when there’s something as dire as a drought going on. In the past this ceremony worked. The local monks put the relic on display to the public and then the island would experience rain. This was usually done especially when Sri Lanka was going through their dry season. I automatically thought what drought? Isn’t this business as usual? I know this had to be another one of their tall tales right? So I thought until it rained the very next day! As I always say, it’s only crazy until it works. Back to this sacred tooth and the crazy crowd of people. Sanju tried really hard to get me as close as humanly possible to view the tooth relic. And it was beautiful but hidden in an elaborate case. All the locals squeezed and fought to get a chance to offer a lotus flower as an offering. I couldn’t wait to get out of there but like the amazing guide he was, Sanju wanted to show me there was more to the craziness I was witnessing and he showed me the museum within the Temple that gave a brief insight into the Buddhist monks history in Kandy.


The hotel I stayed in while in Kandy was the best one thus far. My room was spacious and offered a cute view of their pool. I also had the strongest Wi-Fi single since I touched down in Colombo. I took advantage of it by catching up on social media and what not. I even posted everything I was doing so far and everyone couldn’t believe just how far I was willing to go to see just a little bit more of the world. So far I was loving it. I had dinner within the hotel in Kandy with a couple from the Czech Republic. We discussed Trump; they were fans but had the most liberal ideals. I guess it was one of those you don’t have to live through it so you can’t actually relate kind of things. Their love of Trump didn’t damper our night at all. If anything the great music mix our waiter was playing and their constant demand for more and more beer, kept us all in the highest of spirits. They practically convinced me I needed to visit their home. (I did. I’m continuing to write and edit this blog on my way back from Prague. It was beautiful. 😜) Surprisingly Sri Lankan beer isn’t that potent as I woke up the next morning more refreshed than ever and ready for our next stop.

My super long one and only travel story continues in just a few more days!!

For my 30th birthday, I decided I wanted to visit Tanzania, Africa. It was the perfect trip! I had just conquered a world wonder in Cusco, Peru by climbing Machu Picchu, so I was ready to visit another one in Kilimanjaro. I also had visited Africa previously when I went to Marrakech, Morocco, and was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a real safari I could do there. Tanzania contained the most famous safari of all time, the Serengeti. You know the place the Lion King is based off of. There was also beautiful beaches and tons of cultural activities I could spend my time exploring. It was the perfect trip... until I researched the cost surrounding all the activities I wanted to do and realized I may have a problem. As if God himself recognized my concerns, a deal popped up for South East Asia. I had to decide right away if I was willing to put my Tanzania dreams on hold. Deals never last long. I ended up choosing South East Asia because the price was unbeatable. I would be flying into Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and flying out of Bangkok, Thailand for only $270 round trip. It was an open ended deal which meant I would have to find my own way from Malaysia to Thailand. As I was researching flights between the two countries I noticed how close India was. I immediately became excited at the possibility of completing my Eat Pray Love tour sooner than expected. However I just couldn’t narrow down affordable flight options. And then there was a warning about the pollution in New Delhi. Supposedly it was so bad a few travelers were wearing face masks. I just thought that India was becoming less and less ideal. So I eventually scrapped the idea but on the same map of South East Asia hid a small island right below India. Sri Lanka. Little India. And as luck would have it, they were waiting for me.

One of my friends asked me why I keep campaigning to make that little phrase Sri Lanka’s slogan and the truth is that’s immediately how I felt; welcomed with open arms like I belonged. Sri Lanka has actually been on my list of places I wanted to visit for quite some time. I really had just forgotten all about it. In addition, other cities in South East Asia eventually drew more of my attention like Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. However as I continued to research all three places, Sri Lanka just stood out. I soon realized all the things I wanted to do in Tanzania, I would be able to do on a smaller but more cost effective scale in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka has a world wonder in Sigiriya. It has several national parks for one to go on safaris. It was an island so a lack of beautiful beaches was not going to be a problem. But Sri Lanka offered SO much more. So I reduced the amount of time I planned to spend in Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok to just a day each. I figured I could always return if I liked what I saw. I couldn’t have made a wiser choice because as much as I was able to accomplish in 6 days in Sri Lanka, I never wanted to leave.

Prior to my arrival I asked my Airbnb host in Colombo, Sri Lanka’s capital city, for any recommendations they might have for a driver / guide that was trust worthy. I was traveling solo and that was a real concern for me. Who they ended up recommending would leave me indebted to them forever. Sanju could easily pass for my Indian coworker’s brother. However, don’t tell a Sri Lankan they resemble or sound like someone from India. They take great pride in being from their unique little island. Sanju immediately explained to me the differences in their facial structure and dialect. He said it was easy for him to spot the difference. It’s believed that at one point India was connected to the small island but rising sea levels over time allowed for the land to be completely surrounded by water. Little India is where I would end up finishing my Eat Pray Love tour. It was unexpected. It wasn’t exactly ideal but I was content with it. Oh yeah. Sanju was supposed to be just my driver / guide. He ended up meaning much more to me. The story is about to become super cliché so don’t judge me. No seriously, promise right now that you won’t judge.

My trip began way prior to me actually touching down in Colombo. Sanju and I had been conversing over email planning my visit for quite some time. I wanted to trust that after viewing the itinerary I had prepared he had the best idea of how to plan out everything but I did find it annoying when he changed a few things or told me what activities couldn’t work within my time frame or just logically because of the highways and roads and what not. I borderline fired him a few times in my mind. Never thinking that a guide / driver who lives there would truly know best. I can be stubborn that way. Let’s just say he had a big question mark next to his name before I arrived. I didn’t think I would like him. But when we finally met for the first time, I will be honest; the only thing I was disappointed about was that he wasn’t as cute as my Airbnb host. Sue me, I’m a single woman so I definitely look and I most definitely notice attractive men. Sanju however was the most adorable man. He offered me water, asked me if I preferred the front or back seat, and asked me if there was anything else I needed. He impressed me and I’m not always so easily impressed. I’m use to uber drivers who can go above and beyond for a good rating but with Sanju somehow I was able to immediately feel the difference which left me at ease. Truth be told I was a bit nervous. Although I had a fantastic driver / guide during my stay in Bali with Wayan, I didn’t think my luck could strike twice. However, like always, Sri Lanka proved to be the exception.

It was a long drive from Colombo to Sigiriya. According to Ravi, another guide Sanju hired for me, Sigiriya, a city and the name of a giant natural rock, is protected by UNECO. It’s been dubbed the 8th world wonder. I know, I also thought that list stopped at like 7 or something. However once you visit, you can easily see why this world site is so special. Nicknamed “Lions Rock” after the lion’s body that was carved by early settlers, the rock is 600ft high with 1200 steps. And I climbed all of them to the very top. Now I won’t pretend like other bloggers claimed and tell you that it was easy. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. It physically left me empty. I wasn’t sure if my bodily organs were still intact. I fired both my guides in my head and hired them both back on the climb down. The climb down was also exasperating. It didn’t help that I was overweight, out of shape and not remotely use to having the sunbeam down on me like a ball of molted lava. They took their time with me allowing me to stop as much as I needed to. Offering words or encouragement and taunting me when necessary. “That man with a walker is coming back down, you can do this.” “That old lady is beating you to the top. Let’s keep going”. They held my hand up difficult steps and provided me with as much water as I needed. As much as I wanted to hate them, they basically were my fairy Godmothers. Though Sanju hired a guide who he said had more knowledge on the history of the rock, I found that Sanju himself offered his own insight and that made the climb much more enjoyable. I also suspect he wanted to stop and allow me several moments to catch my breath. I quit at the Lions feet. Probably about 200+ more steps to go but I gave up. They let me rest. I thought I was done. After returning from taking pictures with the Lions feet, they convinced me the view at the very top of the rock was worth it. And when I thought it through, I had been through the worse, why not finish? And so I did.

After my triumphant climb, I was happy to relax as Sanju drove to Polonnaruwa. I imagine I slept and snored all the way there. Although I had been in Asia a full 72 hours now, (brief layover in Japan included), each country I had visited so far had a completely different time zone. I welcomed being able to nap and that was the perk of hiring a driver who doubles as your guide. Polonnaruwa is a historic province with tons of ancient ruins. Most destroyed by what I assumed was colonial occupation but Sri Lanka’s own struggles with multiple civil wars throughout the centuries were just as responsible. I love learning about the history of the cities or countries I visit. I find it helps you appreciate your time in their home better. It helps shape your world view. To be completely honest, westerners have a construed view of places like Sri Lanka. It’s not necessarily negative but it’s definitely not completely accurate either. Sanju hired another guide, Mallawa, to give me a tour of the more famous and significant sites in Polonnaruwa. I must have looked like a kid in a candy store because in spite of his strong accent, I was captivated and mesmerized by all of the tall tales and true stories of the Sri Lankan people. I know the guide got a kick out of how many times I asked if he was telling the truth. The stories were that wild and very entertaining. On the ride to my hotel for the night, I made sure to ask Sanju what was true and what were just stories as I recapped everything I learned. It was as if I had known him my entire life and we were besties catching up on our day. I’m glad he never paused me to say anything like, “Amanda, I’ve heard all these stories before.” Or “I was basically with you the entire time.” Nope... he let me be as redundant as possible. And that’s something I enjoyed throughout the entire trip, our talks as we drove between each excursion or city. Driving through each city or town was a tour in itself. He would point out what made it popular amongst tourist and what made it special to Sri Lankan people. If I came across something I found unique he would slow down and allow me time to take pictures. The next day was the most expensive part of my trip. It was worth it though and I have Sanju to thank for convincing me to go through with it.


Check back in a few days as the story continues.... I know. It's long.

A fantabulous reader asked me... 

There are few things I find more insulting than being treated like the side chick when you're his girl friend or significant other. It's obvious that the "side chick" is the one that you have to schedule time for, the one you can't see as much, and the one who's main purpose is usually sexual in nature.