I’m ready guys. I think I’m ready to delve into the taboo subject of Friends With Benefits. (Picture me putting up quotation marks.)

Oh but not in the way that would make sense and actually help you... no no. I’m going to discuss the committed relationships you think you’re in but are in all actuality a Friends With Benefits situation.

Love is patient guys.
It is also kind.
I like have these first two stanzas of the Bible verse on my wall somewhere because I believe it to be true. Often I find we need that reminder because people will try to convince you that love comes with unrelenting pain or that it’s meant to break you. It’s meant to leave you hopeless. Or out of options with your back against the ropes.

Nope, it’s supposed to actually do the exact opposite. I know. What a crazy idea.
Are you currently with someone who’s not even remotely close to being that for you. Like he or she is occasionally at their best. Occasionally good to you and more than often they’re just good to you in bed.
Yes I said it. You’re holding on to this relationship because they’re Good. In. Bed. They even hold you right afterwards. They sometimes even whisper sweet nothings. But then you both go back to your normal lives where they’re an asshole to you. Or they lie to you constantly and you just take it. You literally just take it and say you love them. You’re basically friends with benefits but okay... you love them.

Love is not only patient and kind hunny. In fact let’s finish that verse.
“It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
And let’s keep going with the three verse that follows. “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

You see, love is a lot of things but it’s definitely not just pretty good sex. It requires more of the person. I’m going to shock you right now and suggest what you’re actually feeling is lust. It’s the strong desire to feel good in spite of. In spite of how shitty they treat you. In spite of how often they lie to you. In spite of how little they actually care about you.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with a friends with benefits situation! As long as you call it what it is hunny and stop lying to yourself about what it isn’t.
And I’ll have you know that the 1st Corinthians verse continues by saying “Love never fails.” So Trust Me... because I also never fail and you know I Can’t Lie.



Don't Forget To Comment ;-)

After completing the boat safari we jumped on Sri Lanka’s only major highway to head back to Colombo. Since my flight left very late, Sanju took me to a few souvenir shops at my request before giving me a tour of the capital city. We visited a few places of national significance and with a little more time to kill he took me to the waterfront. It was magical. We walked for a little bit and I admired the sun go down. And in it that moment I thought, was this really just a fantasy in my head? What kind of move was that to take me to the waterfront right when the sun was about to set? Did he not get how much I was starting to like him and how much I knew I couldn’t!


He took me to one last stop so I could eat before going to the airport. He convinced to try one of their dishes called Kothu Parotta It sounded inedible to me but turned out to be very delicious. And this time he sat with me and we had dinner together. If I hadn’t already paid him for his services in the car, I would have thought he was trying to butter me up for an extra tip which he did in fact get by the way. He deserved it more than he knew. After our dinner together he dropped me off at the airport. I did the same goodbye I do to all my guides promising to return with a slew of friends. He hugged me. Yes, he hugged me not the other way around and it wasn’t brief in the slightest. Another life time Sanju. Another lifetime.


I had fallen madly deeply and unapologetically.... in love with traveling. Every town, city, village, or country I’ve visited held a special place in my heart. They’ve matured me. They’ve made me more secure as a woman. They’ve inspired me. They’ve even redeemed me on certain occasions. So I didn’t actually meet the love of my life in Sri Lanka but I came to the realization that I had already found a deep love for something in the last three years of touring the world. And every time a flight deal popped up or Trip Advisors posted an awe inspiring picture of yet another dope place in the world, I get excited. I get excited knowing there’s still so much of the world for me to see. For me to explore. For me to fall that much deeper in love with.

Traveling may have saved my life. If not for a quick weekend trip to the Poconos wherein I spent the majority of my time in a hot tub, I wouldn’t have provoked, rather exposed what was going on with me in the form of an attack. I haven’t had another attack since I first suffered from double vision. I’ve been extremely blessed and fortunate. As a result, I live my life exactly that way, knowing how extremely fortunate I am. At first, I was convinced that my diagnosis would render me an invalid before I knew it. This lurking concern that I won’t be able to be adventurous because my disease may take a turn for the worst is truly what makes me so bold, so fearless. So to everyone who thinks so highly of my travels, and labels me this brave human (including my neurologist), because I often do it all alone, you should know I have an extra battery in my back motivating to do what I’ve done. I can’t wait to see what I’ve got planned next!

**My guides true identity and name has been changed to protect his privacy. And mostly thats because I’m a mess for insinuating that he was anything more than professional**

This was probably the first day I didn’t have to wake up ridiculously early. As we drove to tea country as I called it in Elle, Sanju stopped several times at what he considered the most picturesque spots of tea plantations. And this is why I’m convinced Sri Lanka has to be one of the most beautiful places on earth. Lush green views were breathtaking at most and downright not fare to a New Yorker like myself. Tall buildings be damned compared to the views I was gifted with seeing in Sri Lanka. I had asked to be taken to a waterfall along the way and boy did he deliver with Ramboda Falls. It was beautiful. He even had us take a photo together. I know. Cute. We were taking a liking to each other. Before long we had arrived on a tea plantation. I know what you’re thinking, was slave labor involved? Okay... so maybe I was the only one that thought so but No! They’re paid. It started to rain so I wasn’t allowed to tour and have the workers show me how they plucked their tea but the owner of Damro Tea who just happened to be Sanju’s good friend offered a tea tasting and factory tour instead for free. After trying their tea, I will admit I wasn’t that impressed but the factory tour that followed was pretty educational. A great deal goes into the process of turning leaves into the tea mix we all enjoy in those little packets. Did you know that the darker your tea the longer it’s been oxidized? Did you know that tea came in various degrees of shades and colors? Tea is Sri Lanka’s bread and butter. They export tons and tons of tea throughout Asia. After a quick stop at one of Sri Lanka’s oldest post offices made into a mini museum and one more awe inspiring waterfall, we proceeded on our way to Yala National Park. I was most excited about this because I was finally going to be able to do a real animal safari. The drive to the southernmost part of the island was long so as you can imagine I napped but not before asking Sanju a ton of questions about Elle. Why it happened to be so much cooler than the rest of the island? Why did it rain so much? And lastly how many types of bananas did Sri Lanka have? The answer was 27 to the last one.



Sanju chose the town of Thissamaharama for the night. I promise you all the hotels he helped me choose were adorable. This one was no exception as the owner was a cute old man who treated me like I was royalty. His hotel was close to Yala National Park and much more affordable for me to stay in than in the actual National Park. Oh yeah, you probably should know that you can stay in the actual park overnight. They have elaborate tree houses to over the top glamping grounds as options. Being on a budget and Sanju understanding that, his pick of a quaint hotel near the National Park was on the money. I enjoyed a delicious dinner across the street from the hotel. I didn’t feel like eating alone once again at a restaurant and opted to take my food back to the hotel. They were more than happy to oblige except that they took super long to call my hotel and let me know it was ready. Sanju was chatting with the owner of the hotel when he noticed me come outside my room for the second time to check and see if my food was ready. He offered to go back to the restaurant with me and see what the holdup was. Once they saw Sanju and me they instantly apologized and Sanju insisted I sit down for dinner instead of carrying my food back to my room. The owner asked if he would be joining me and he quickly said no. I guess he didn’t want to give off the vibe that we were like together or something. He was good at keeping it pretty professional. I didn’t have the courage to tell him he didn’t need to and just how much I had become to enjoy his company. Besides he had to know by now that I was a good time. We could have continued to get to know each other. And I would have probably learned that he was married. With a kid. And another on the way. I know... bummer right. You were hoping for this great love story to unfold. Don’t worry. It will. Sanju kind of kept those details to himself. I would learn eventually.

The next day I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for my very first safari. I was beyond excited. Our hotel supplied us with breakfast to go since we had such an early start and the safari Jeep driver arrived to pick us up. He was the quiet type but Sanju promised he was the best. The week before he had been on safari with some other clients and the same guide hadn’t been available. As a result, the clients didn’t get the ultimate experience they were hoping for and left disappointed. They hadn’t seen much of the really big animals, including elephants.
So Sanju pre warned me that I had already seen three elephants along the way on the roads and to not be too disappointed if I didn’t get to see any in the Park. Immediately upon entering the park however our guide was able to coordinate with his friends and alert us to an elephant gathering where we happened upon a mommy and her baby elephant. It was too cute for words. Elephants are so beautiful and they live just as long as human, up to almost 80+ years. Did you know that a female mommy elephant is pregnant for up to 22 months? Can you imagine having to carry around a baby for that long? I guess one of the world’s biggest animals needs a little extra time cooking their babies in the oven. As we continued the safari, I sat in the Jeep holding on for dear life. The roads were rough and dusty and the truck was quite open to the elements. I rode in awe as the guide pointed out several unique birds and animals that were indigenous to the island. We even saw hyenas and warthogs. It was something straight out of the Lion King! I was so satisfied with my safari thus far when all of a sudden our guide did a swift U-turn and started to rush down the road. Sanju whispered into my ear that other guides had spotted the elusive leopard, an animal that usually only came out at night because of how hot the sun’s rays were during the day. As I held on while chewing on my banana that the hotel owner had packed, I eventually couldn’t contain my nervousness. This jeep was hardly protective enough against a wild animal like a leopard but I wasn’t about to tell the guide to stop. When we came across the two leopards sitting on a single rock together my mouth dropped. Was this real life? The guide zipped and zagged a little just so we could get the best view of the animals. And then I realized there was nothing to be afraid of. The jeeps that swarmed to give their clients a view of the animal all knew to keep their distance. Sanju went on to explain to me that the male leopard was unsuccessfully trying to mate with the female leopard. I joked and said just like human life to which Sanju just blushed and smiled. Remember I said not to judge me. I still didn’t know about his having an entire family and what not. After the male leopard gave up and left the rock, most jeeps pulled out and we were able to move up just a little closer. I was in complete heaven ogling the female leopard rest in the shade on her rock.


Since I chose a full day Safari we stopped near the beach to have lunch. Apparently the park is closed from like 2-4 I believe. My safari guide was a jack of all trades because he was also an excellent cook. The spread he provided included several Curry’s, chicken and veggies, rice, fruits and Sri Lankan beer. Sanju asked me if I drank beer before offering me one. I nodded and he then offered me like he always did a great story about Sri Lankan beer. Lions beer as it’s called, even though Sri Lanka’s history hasn’t recorded any lions on the island is one of the only beers Sri Lanka produces on the island. It’s actually quite tasty for a beer. He also explained that he personally believed that there had to be lions of sort, even if they were brought over from neighboring islands or how else would they know what they looked like to carve their image into a rock. What sound logic right? He was smart that way. The two of them both Sanju and the safari guide, (I’m sorry guys, I forgot his name), insisted I eat first before they enjoyed their portion. True gentlemen. I sat in the back of the truck with my feet hanging out and swinging, enjoying the gorgeous views of the ocean. I admired people taking a walk along the sand. When Sanju returned with the guide to finally partake in what was prepared. I asked him why there weren’t that many people on this beach. He explained that the waters were very rough on this side of the island. He also mentioned the fact that you have to practically drive about thirty minutes through the park to even reach it. As the guys ate with their hands! I quizzed them both about themselves. By the way it’s a legit custom in Sri Lanka... to eat with your hands. Messy but if it’s one of the many reasons I was so enamored by this country, it kept giving me vibes of Africa which was what I wanted all along for my birthday. If you’re wondering, nope, on this Q and A, I did not find out about his wife and kids. I know you’re reading and waiting for our love story to develop even in-spite of me spoiling the story by mentioning his wife and kid. Does it have anything to do with the fact that that I forewarned you not to judge me?

For my 30th birthday, I decided I wanted to visit Tanzania, Africa. It was the perfect trip! I had just conquered a world wonder in Cusco, Peru by climbing Machu Picchu, so I was ready to visit another one in Kilimanjaro. I also had visited Africa previously when I went to Marrakech, Morocco, and was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a real safari I could do there. Tanzania contained the most famous safari of all time, the Serengeti. You know the place the Lion King is based off of. There was also beautiful beaches and tons of cultural activities I could spend my time exploring. It was the perfect trip... until I researched the cost surrounding all the activities I wanted to do and realized I may have a problem. As if God himself recognized my concerns, a deal popped up for South East Asia. I had to decide right away if I was willing to put my Tanzania dreams on hold. Deals never last long. I ended up choosing South East Asia because the price was unbeatable. I would be flying into Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and flying out of Bangkok, Thailand for only $270 round trip. It was an open ended deal which meant I would have to find my own way from Malaysia to Thailand. As I was researching flights between the two countries I noticed how close India was. I immediately became excited at the possibility of completing my Eat Pray Love tour sooner than expected. However I just couldn’t narrow down affordable flight options. And then there was a warning about the pollution in New Delhi. Supposedly it was so bad a few travelers were wearing face masks. I just thought that India was becoming less and less ideal. So I eventually scrapped the idea but on the same map of South East Asia hid a small island right below India. Sri Lanka. Little India. And as luck would have it, they were waiting for me.

One of my friends asked me why I keep campaigning to make that little phrase Sri Lanka’s slogan and the truth is that’s immediately how I felt; welcomed with open arms like I belonged. Sri Lanka has actually been on my list of places I wanted to visit for quite some time. I really had just forgotten all about it. In addition, other cities in South East Asia eventually drew more of my attention like Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur. However as I continued to research all three places, Sri Lanka just stood out. I soon realized all the things I wanted to do in Tanzania, I would be able to do on a smaller but more cost effective scale in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka has a world wonder in Sigiriya. It has several national parks for one to go on safaris. It was an island so a lack of beautiful beaches was not going to be a problem. But Sri Lanka offered SO much more. So I reduced the amount of time I planned to spend in Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok to just a day each. I figured I could always return if I liked what I saw. I couldn’t have made a wiser choice because as much as I was able to accomplish in 6 days in Sri Lanka, I never wanted to leave.

Prior to my arrival I asked my Airbnb host in Colombo, Sri Lanka’s capital city, for any recommendations they might have for a driver / guide that was trust worthy. I was traveling solo and that was a real concern for me. Who they ended up recommending would leave me indebted to them forever. Sanju could easily pass for my Indian coworker’s brother. However, don’t tell a Sri Lankan they resemble or sound like someone from India. They take great pride in being from their unique little island. Sanju immediately explained to me the differences in their facial structure and dialect. He said it was easy for him to spot the difference. It’s believed that at one point India was connected to the small island but rising sea levels over time allowed for the land to be completely surrounded by water. Little India is where I would end up finishing my Eat Pray Love tour. It was unexpected. It wasn’t exactly ideal but I was content with it. Oh yeah. Sanju was supposed to be just my driver / guide. He ended up meaning much more to me. The story is about to become super cliché so don’t judge me. No seriously, promise right now that you won’t judge.

My trip began way prior to me actually touching down in Colombo. Sanju and I had been conversing over email planning my visit for quite some time. I wanted to trust that after viewing the itinerary I had prepared he had the best idea of how to plan out everything but I did find it annoying when he changed a few things or told me what activities couldn’t work within my time frame or just logically because of the highways and roads and what not. I borderline fired him a few times in my mind. Never thinking that a guide / driver who lives there would truly know best. I can be stubborn that way. Let’s just say he had a big question mark next to his name before I arrived. I didn’t think I would like him. But when we finally met for the first time, I will be honest; the only thing I was disappointed about was that he wasn’t as cute as my Airbnb host. Sue me, I’m a single woman so I definitely look and I most definitely notice attractive men. Sanju however was the most adorable man. He offered me water, asked me if I preferred the front or back seat, and asked me if there was anything else I needed. He impressed me and I’m not always so easily impressed. I’m use to uber drivers who can go above and beyond for a good rating but with Sanju somehow I was able to immediately feel the difference which left me at ease. Truth be told I was a bit nervous. Although I had a fantastic driver / guide during my stay in Bali with Wayan, I didn’t think my luck could strike twice. However, like always, Sri Lanka proved to be the exception.

It was a long drive from Colombo to Sigiriya. According to Ravi, another guide Sanju hired for me, Sigiriya, a city and the name of a giant natural rock, is protected by UNECO. It’s been dubbed the 8th world wonder. I know, I also thought that list stopped at like 7 or something. However once you visit, you can easily see why this world site is so special. Nicknamed “Lions Rock” after the lion’s body that was carved by early settlers, the rock is 600ft high with 1200 steps. And I climbed all of them to the very top. Now I won’t pretend like other bloggers claimed and tell you that it was easy. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. It physically left me empty. I wasn’t sure if my bodily organs were still intact. I fired both my guides in my head and hired them both back on the climb down. The climb down was also exasperating. It didn’t help that I was overweight, out of shape and not remotely use to having the sunbeam down on me like a ball of molted lava. They took their time with me allowing me to stop as much as I needed to. Offering words or encouragement and taunting me when necessary. “That man with a walker is coming back down, you can do this.” “That old lady is beating you to the top. Let’s keep going”. They held my hand up difficult steps and provided me with as much water as I needed. As much as I wanted to hate them, they basically were my fairy Godmothers. Though Sanju hired a guide who he said had more knowledge on the history of the rock, I found that Sanju himself offered his own insight and that made the climb much more enjoyable. I also suspect he wanted to stop and allow me several moments to catch my breath. I quit at the Lions feet. Probably about 200+ more steps to go but I gave up. They let me rest. I thought I was done. After returning from taking pictures with the Lions feet, they convinced me the view at the very top of the rock was worth it. And when I thought it through, I had been through the worse, why not finish? And so I did.

After my triumphant climb, I was happy to relax as Sanju drove to Polonnaruwa. I imagine I slept and snored all the way there. Although I had been in Asia a full 72 hours now, (brief layover in Japan included), each country I had visited so far had a completely different time zone. I welcomed being able to nap and that was the perk of hiring a driver who doubles as your guide. Polonnaruwa is a historic province with tons of ancient ruins. Most destroyed by what I assumed was colonial occupation but Sri Lanka’s own struggles with multiple civil wars throughout the centuries were just as responsible. I love learning about the history of the cities or countries I visit. I find it helps you appreciate your time in their home better. It helps shape your world view. To be completely honest, westerners have a construed view of places like Sri Lanka. It’s not necessarily negative but it’s definitely not completely accurate either. Sanju hired another guide, Mallawa, to give me a tour of the more famous and significant sites in Polonnaruwa. I must have looked like a kid in a candy store because in spite of his strong accent, I was captivated and mesmerized by all of the tall tales and true stories of the Sri Lankan people. I know the guide got a kick out of how many times I asked if he was telling the truth. The stories were that wild and very entertaining. On the ride to my hotel for the night, I made sure to ask Sanju what was true and what were just stories as I recapped everything I learned. It was as if I had known him my entire life and we were besties catching up on our day. I’m glad he never paused me to say anything like, “Amanda, I’ve heard all these stories before.” Or “I was basically with you the entire time.” Nope... he let me be as redundant as possible. And that’s something I enjoyed throughout the entire trip, our talks as we drove between each excursion or city. Driving through each city or town was a tour in itself. He would point out what made it popular amongst tourist and what made it special to Sri Lankan people. If I came across something I found unique he would slow down and allow me time to take pictures. The next day was the most expensive part of my trip. It was worth it though and I have Sanju to thank for convincing me to go through with it.


Check back in a few days as the story continues.... I know. It's long.

I never wanted to write travel blogs. Traveling is something most aren’t blessed to be able to do and so I respect that. I cherish it. I like to think of it as something that is mine. I prefer to keep all my special stories surrounding my trips to myself. I can be selfish that way. But Sri Lanka is the exception. Sri Lanka has always been the exception. Allow me to share my one and my only travel story. I must warn you that it is quite long but I guess that’s what I get for trying to condense three years of touring the world into one entry.

A few years ago I was protesting the price of a passport by not buying one. “$110 for a document you require me to have?”  It was absurd, it was highway robbery, and it was completely all in my head. After unsuccessfully trying to recruit more individuals to join my protest, a good friend offered me this alternative way of thinking. They asked me, “Would you pay $11 a year to see the world?” My answer was of course yes, and they replied, “A passport is like the price of admission to tour the world.” A light bulb went off in my head and I completely agreed with their sound and reasonable logic. This began my wanderlust. Thus began me finding complete happiness.

Around the same time of my passport awakening, I watched a movie called “Eat, Pray, Love” starring Julia Roberts. I loved the main characters story. It moved me. It inspired me. So I ended up reading the book the movie was based off of and by the end I was convinced I needed to duplicate her story. I wanted to EAT in Italy, PRAY in Bali and find a love for something in India. Although in the book, she fell in love with a man in India, I kind of preferred the idea of leaving meeting the love of my life up to chance. I didn’t need to meet him in India or any country in particular. In fact, I wanted to be surprised by where I ended up meeting him.

So a few months later I buckled down and proceeded to plan out the first part of my journey. Roma. I arranged a deal for me to visit Rome, Italy and then fly to Athens, Greece before returning home to the States. I had just started dating someone at the time and he waited until the very last minute before telling me he couldn’t afford the trip. After failing to get someone else to accompany me last minute, I decided to do the trip all by myself. I know. Bold. I was 26. I had never traveled solo alone to a foreign country. I ended up ending things with that dude months after I returned from my trip but boy am I so grateful he opted out. Italy and Greece was where I was bitten by the “travel bug”. She’s a tiny insect. You don’t even see her coming. She’s not sneaky but she isn’t overt either. And I was enamored. So I ate in Italy. A lot. A pistachio cannoli from Don Nino is still the most delicious thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of placing in my mouth. I walked where Gladiators once roamed in the Coliseum. I sat in the Sistine Chapel in complete awe of Michelangelo’s brilliance. And then I championed climbing all over the Acropolis in Greece. I visited one of the world’s oldest Olympic stadium sites. I even let little tiny fishes gnaw at my feet. It’s a thing; I just rolled with the suggestion from a stranger while there. I left Europe forever changed, and deeply intrigued. Is all of Europe this beautiful, this poetic, this inspiring? The answer was yes, as I then traveled to London, Paris, Frankfort, Amsterdam, Madrid, and Barcelona.


Bali, Indonesia was a little bit trickier. It was a lot farther from New York than Europe. But I had become somewhat of a seasoned traveler in the two years since my Greece and Italy trip. I had traveled quite a bit in between and made sure to adequately prepare. I quickly learned the moment I stepped into the airport that I could never fully be ready for all that was Bali. For one, the humidity smacks you in the face. You will only partially recover. Coming from New York with all four seasons, I never got use to the intense heat and welcomed the sun going down every day. Not just for the breath taking sunsets but because the night offered a reprieve from the sweltering days.
In Bali, I prayed to my God but I spent a lot of time learning all about the Hindu religion and their many Gods. Like the protagonist in the book, I also met with a special Balinese healer. I know, westerners probably are skeptical of eastern medicine and special holistic doctors but my story is honest. I won’t even tell you the healers name so you won’t feel like I’m promoting anything.

When I met with him, I didn’t complain about my MS; I was diagnosed in 2011 after suffering from double vision. I don’t know why I didn’t bring it up; possibly because I was managing all the ailments and symptoms of the disease pretty well at the time. I also recognize on a daily basis that it could be worse. Like a lot worse. So instead of mentioning my debilitating disease, I told him about my problems sleeping. One of the main symptoms of my disease is fatigue, I am ALWAYS tired. I often had difficulty not only falling asleep but sleeping through the night. My neurologist had recommended melatonin. It does help me to fall asleep but I was still having issues staying asleep through the night. When I don’t get enough sleep, I suffer from severe migraines. It's the kind of headache where you’re nauseous and basically hate your brain for hating you. I wanted the viscous cycle to end. The healer gave me a thorough head and limb exam before announcing that I suffer from anxiety and that’s what is preventing me from falling asleep on my own and sleeping through the night. We sat in silence as he continued to massage my brain. I half expected him to announce I had MS but instead he then placed my hand on my chest and told me to listen to my heartbeat, concentrate on the rhythm and then start to consciously take deep breaths while focusing on the rhythm of my own heartbeat. It was simple. It was borderline genius because it worked. Now it doesn’t work every time but I’ve found it to be helpful most of the time. I was still skeptical of how feeling over my brain and limbs could lead him to such a conclusion however an entire year later, my neurologist confirmed that based on my night time symptoms I have mild anxiety. Bali did change me, I came back home more relaxed and calm. However, living in a city like NY with a job like mine, didn’t allow my Bali Zen to last too long though. That was fine, as I was taught a lifelong lesson. Focus on your own heartbeat; listen to your own song and just exhale.


I was ready to fall in love with something. India you’re up next! Or so I thought.

Next Week! check back as I continue my really long one and only travel story. I promise it gets better.

We all have a Hard No in the bedroom. You know that one thing we aren’t willing to do with our sexual partner. There’s no negotiating, you’re just not here for it and you’ll never be. That’s fine! I just wish you’d apply Hard No’s to your relationship.

I can’t believe I have to say this but if your significant other flirts with one of your best friends or your family member, the only I’m sorry you should accept is in the form of them saying you can do better than me; i hereby resign my position as your partner.
Trying to get with someone that close to you behind your back or directly in front of you is a HARD NO. Family and friends should be your limit to their madness. And don’t hold it in their favor that they weren’t able to actually go forward with it and cheat with your friend or family. I can already hear y’all crediting your boo for failing at cheating. “Well he didn’t go through with it so is it really that bad?” Yess! It’s that bad. If they can try with people you love and trust, then they’ve most definitely tried and probably succeeded with people who don’t give a damn about you.

I get it. Girls can be trifling. Men are deceitful. So taking what someone tells you at face value over your significant other is hard. It’s more than hard, it’s life or death at times. After all, a relationship without trust will never work in the long run. I get it. I actually respect that faith in your partner. However, when you’re provided with concrete proof like a text message, or a voicemail, or even pictures from someone as close to you as your friend or family member, there’s a certain amount of weight you give that person.

Honey, in relationships, some things are forgivable. Although I’m not a fan, cheating can be a forgivable offense. To each their own on that one. Lying is a forgivable offense. Again I say to each their own. But everything should not and cannot be forgivable when it comes to sharing your life with someone. You have to make boundaries. You have to have a limit to the damage. You have to exert standards because if not, you will live your life as a doormat. You will continually get taken advantage of, lied to and essentially abused.

So exercise those hard no’s. The things you would and could never stand for in any relationship. You don’t have to accept that kind of love. I hear you saying it’s not that simple. He’s my husband. She’s the mother of my kids. We’ve been together too long. It was a trap, he’s normally able to be on his best behavior. STOP. No more excuses babes... it’s okay to choose you. And always remember to Trust Me... because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.


Don't Forget To Comment ;-)

Don't Forget To Comment ;-)

Second chances are beautiful. Third chances can be fleeting. Fourth chance? Now you're just asking for the abuse. 

You've turned 26, or you've hit your late twenties, you're still single, and all your friends are either married, engaged or have found the 14th love of their life. And you? Well you're just trying to get to your dentist appointment on time just once. And then it hits you! You're closing in on 30. And an entire flood of concerns take over. What if I die an old maid? Will I ever meet the one or am I doomed to a life of assholes? Am I going to have to go to a sperm bank?  Or are my eggs already useless? 

Five minutes of attention. 20 mins of ignoring you.

Be careful what bridges you burn.

When you've walked out the door and ended a relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic in nature, be careful how you handle that door. 
You can close the door. Let them bang. You can even lock it. But don't break off the knob.

A fantabulous reader asked me... 

There are few things I find more insulting than being treated like the side chick when you're his girl friend or significant other. It's obvious that the "side chick" is the one that you have to schedule time for, the one you can't see as much, and the one who's main purpose is usually sexual in nature.