My friendship sympathy works in stages. In the beginning I will be your shoulder to cry on for hours at a time. I will come over to your home, make sure you eat, force you into a shower. I will listen to you analyze and re analyze where you and your boo went wrong. I will listen to you justify his transgressions. I will help you blow your nose. I will be your RIDE OR DIE. That’s just how deep my love goes. I don’t like to see others in pain. If I can help ease the pain by being there, that’s what you can count on me to do.

Towards a month after the situation, you will notice that I’m super angry at the person. Within this stage, I become less sympathetic and often demand that you accept your current reality. It’s over. You need to focus on healing. You need to focus on you. I will help you do that. I will provide distractions. I will take you out. I will force you to face the world you’ve left behind. And eventually you will want to do all of that on your own.

But then... as you’re healing, getting back to life, you will notice that they haven’t called or texted. They haven’t tried to get you back. And this will drive you crazy. And this will also drive ME crazy. The final stage of my sympathy.
Now I think you need some tough love. You need a dose of good old reality. I hate when my my friends waste precious time wondering about how or what their ex is doing. He’s not worried about you in the way that you’re still obsessing over him.
He’s out here living his best life and you’re balled up in a corner crying. At this moment in time, you need to cut the umbilical cord. You need to not only accept that it’s over but start living like it’s over. Go on dates. Start a new hobby. Create new memories with new people. Love your friends a little harder. Obsess over your family.

You’ve already been through the worst. It’s time to get back to living your own best life. And when you do, remember to Trust Me... because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.

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;-)

My friends are really mad that I'm practically best friends with one of my exes. They think I'm setting myself up for failure. I don't blame them. This is an ex that notoriously was able to rope me back in time and time again after he put me threw hell. "He doesn't deserve my friendship." I want to agree with them but I can't. The notion that Ex's Cant Be Friends is a lie!

The thing is that my ex and I were kids when we first started dating and barely adults when we ended it for the 100th time. I've grown since then and have come to realize that everything I went through in our relationship made me exactly who I am today. And I am so much better for it. Hence why my blogs are filled with so much wisdom! The things some of my girl friends go through now, I went through a decade ago and can offer real life advice. So I don't hate him. They definitely prefer I do but I could never hate someone who meant so much to me since I was 15. We grew up together. We know each other inside and out and when we talk about life its natural. Never forced. I don't have to pretend with him and he doesn't have to pretend with me. That's a real friendship.

So why am I writing this blog?!

I want my readers to know that your friends often have the best intentions. They love you after all. And unbeknownst to them, I am listening to their concerns. I haven't seen my ex in person for the last five years. I realize that it can become a slippery slope. You know, hanging out with an ex. And I am so against backsliding. I can thank him for teaching me that. So I am practicing what I realized as my own boundaries. I'm free to chat with him and catch up. I'm free to admire his growth as he lives out life. But I probably won't be at the next family BBQ and he probably won't be invited to my Christmas party.

So hunny, just like its more than okay to cut an ex off completely, it's just as okay to be FRIENDS with an ex. As long as you remember that they're your EX for a reason. Also remember to Trust Me Because You Knew I Couldn't Lie.

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