You did it. You finally stood up for yourself. You told your significant other to kick rocks. You deserve better and though you’ve always known that to be true, this time you’ve pronounced it to be true.

So why does it still hurt like a MFker? Why do you still feel the effects of loosing the battle in spite of winning the war? How can you get past it? How can you move on? And quickly because you’re not sure how much of this pain you can handle.

24 hours sound good?
It does right. It sounds ideal. Like you’ve devoted a full day to process your feelings and now you’ve conclusively agreed that you not only made the right decision but the most honest decision. You’re no longer lying to yourself about the status of your love life. So being okay by like the next day is perfect... Funny how perfection is highly unattainable though.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the worst part hasn’t even hit you yet. Wait until they’ve moved on before you. Or wait until they attempt to get you back after a few years. You think you’re being tested now? You have no idea the potential for pain that awaits you. But guess what, you do eventually get through it. You do eventually get over it. And you do eventually heal. It just won’t be within 24 hours. If you’re lucky it may take a few weeks. Most likely it’ll take a few months. And unfortunately for some it may take years.

But you do get through it. Have you met someone who remained heartbroken over someone who did them wrong for their entire life? They might still be bitter about the situation, but heartbroken? Nah. Because time literally does heal all wounds. Time erases all the scars.

So just give it time. Give yourself as much time as you need. Don’t rush it. Don’t rush to reassimilate yourself back into the world. Take more than a single day to process all those feelings. And when you’re ready, you’ll know. But don’t forget to thank me when you do, because you knew I couldn’t lie.


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My friends are really mad that I'm practically best friends with one of my exes. They think I'm setting myself up for failure. I don't blame them. This is an ex that notoriously was able to rope me back in time and time again after he put me threw hell. "He doesn't deserve my friendship." I want to agree with them but I can't. The notion that Ex's Cant Be Friends is a lie!

The thing is that my ex and I were kids when we first started dating and barely adults when we ended it for the 100th time. I've grown since then and have come to realize that everything I went through in our relationship made me exactly who I am today. And I am so much better for it. Hence why my blogs are filled with so much wisdom! The things some of my girl friends go through now, I went through a decade ago and can offer real life advice. So I don't hate him. They definitely prefer I do but I could never hate someone who meant so much to me since I was 15. We grew up together. We know each other inside and out and when we talk about life its natural. Never forced. I don't have to pretend with him and he doesn't have to pretend with me. That's a real friendship.

So why am I writing this blog?!

I want my readers to know that your friends often have the best intentions. They love you after all. And unbeknownst to them, I am listening to their concerns. I haven't seen my ex in person for the last five years. I realize that it can become a slippery slope. You know, hanging out with an ex. And I am so against backsliding. I can thank him for teaching me that. So I am practicing what I realized as my own boundaries. I'm free to chat with him and catch up. I'm free to admire his growth as he lives out life. But I probably won't be at the next family BBQ and he probably won't be invited to my Christmas party.

So hunny, just like its more than okay to cut an ex off completely, it's just as okay to be FRIENDS with an ex. As long as you remember that they're your EX for a reason. Also remember to Trust Me Because You Knew I Couldn't Lie.

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I'm a firm believer in second chances. Hell I've given individuals countless chances. And this is simply because human beings are not perfect. They were not made perfect and I therefore won't expect anyone to be perfect. There's room for error, room to make a mistake but most of all... There's room for forgiveness.

And forgiveness can build the strongest most resilient people.

There's often a misconception that only a weak woman allows a man to constantly "play her" or "lie to her". I think it's often quite the opposite. It takes a strong determined woman to continuously forgive and believe that change is going to come.

Now does her perceived weakness and unrecognized strength render her innocent of blame? Not at all. If you stay in a situation that's clearly unhealthy or you settle for less than what you know you deserve, you have to be willing to accept some of the blame when it's all said and done.

Life's not black and white. And love and relationships often dabble all over the gray areas. So while in one respect, I find strength in a persons ability to forgive, I can also clearly see the problems that can form should one give out the wrong second chances.

Yes...
Not every one and not every situation requires a second chance.

So how does one make the right second chance.
The right second chance usually is made based on ones experience.
Experience trains you to know what situation warrants a second chance, and what situation demands that you burn that bridge.

I can't offer a step by step technique to determine when you should offer someone a second chance, but I can offer one truth that will help in making that decision.

*History Often Repeats Itself*

And what that means for you is that the chances that the wrong doing will happen again, is higher than the chances that it won't. So if the offense is so severe that you could not withstand it happening to you once again... It may be in your best interest to forgive but not to offer that second chance.

Second chances can be beautiful... And in that respect, don't be too quick to burn a bridge unless you've sincerely considered all the facts. And I applaud that individual who finds the strength to forgive and move on.

You know you'll be glad you took what I had to say on this into consideration because you Trust Me... and know I Cannot Lie.

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