My friendship sympathy works in stages. In the beginning I will be your shoulder to cry on for hours at a time. I will come over to your home, make sure you eat, force you into a shower. I will listen to you analyze and re analyze where you and your boo went wrong. I will listen to you justify his transgressions. I will help you blow your nose. I will be your RIDE OR DIE. That’s just how deep my love goes. I don’t like to see others in pain. If I can help ease the pain by being there, that’s what you can count on me to do.

Towards a month after the situation, you will notice that I’m super angry at the person. Within this stage, I become less sympathetic and often demand that you accept your current reality. It’s over. You need to focus on healing. You need to focus on you. I will help you do that. I will provide distractions. I will take you out. I will force you to face the world you’ve left behind. And eventually you will want to do all of that on your own.

But then... as you’re healing, getting back to life, you will notice that they haven’t called or texted. They haven’t tried to get you back. And this will drive you crazy. And this will also drive ME crazy. The final stage of my sympathy.
Now I think you need some tough love. You need a dose of good old reality. I hate when my my friends waste precious time wondering about how or what their ex is doing. He’s not worried about you in the way that you’re still obsessing over him.
He’s out here living his best life and you’re balled up in a corner crying. At this moment in time, you need to cut the umbilical cord. You need to not only accept that it’s over but start living like it’s over. Go on dates. Start a new hobby. Create new memories with new people. Love your friends a little harder. Obsess over your family.

You’ve already been through the worst. It’s time to get back to living your own best life. And when you do, remember to Trust Me... because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.

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We all have a Hard No in the bedroom. You know that one thing we aren’t willing to do with our sexual partner. There’s no negotiating, you’re just not here for it and you’ll never be. That’s fine! I just wish you’d apply Hard No’s to your relationship.

I can’t believe I have to say this but if your significant other flirts with one of your best friends or your family member, the only I’m sorry you should accept is in the form of them saying you can do better than me; i hereby resign my position as your partner.
Trying to get with someone that close to you behind your back or directly in front of you is a HARD NO. Family and friends should be your limit to their madness. And don’t hold it in their favor that they weren’t able to actually go forward with it and cheat with your friend or family. I can already hear y’all crediting your boo for failing at cheating. “Well he didn’t go through with it so is it really that bad?” Yess! It’s that bad. If they can try with people you love and trust, then they’ve most definitely tried and probably succeeded with people who don’t give a damn about you.

I get it. Girls can be trifling. Men are deceitful. So taking what someone tells you at face value over your significant other is hard. It’s more than hard, it’s life or death at times. After all, a relationship without trust will never work in the long run. I get it. I actually respect that faith in your partner. However, when you’re provided with concrete proof like a text message, or a voicemail, or even pictures from someone as close to you as your friend or family member, there’s a certain amount of weight you give that person.

Honey, in relationships, some things are forgivable. Although I’m not a fan, cheating can be a forgivable offense. To each their own on that one. Lying is a forgivable offense. Again I say to each their own. But everything should not and cannot be forgivable when it comes to sharing your life with someone. You have to make boundaries. You have to have a limit to the damage. You have to exert standards because if not, you will live your life as a doormat. You will continually get taken advantage of, lied to and essentially abused.

So exercise those hard no’s. The things you would and could never stand for in any relationship. You don’t have to accept that kind of love. I hear you saying it’s not that simple. He’s my husband. She’s the mother of my kids. We’ve been together too long. It was a trap, he’s normally able to be on his best behavior. STOP. No more excuses babes... it’s okay to choose you. And always remember to Trust Me... because you knew I Couldn’t Lie.


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