By
Mandizzy
3:43:00 PM
advice,
boyfriend,
dating,
football,
girlfriend,
happiness,
kids,
lessons,
relationship,
self worth,
settling,
singlegirlproblems,
temporary
So I recently got into dating again. I go through phases where I actively give a shit about meeting a great guy or I want to buy a puppy as my lifetime companion. Thankfully for this blog post, I was enjoying a period of putting myself out there again. I met a nice guy who had a few negatives. It actually should have been considered a situation where the negatives outweighed the positives but I was so hung up on the positives I glossed over those negatives. And they weren't necessarily negatives for everybody... for example he had a teenage daughter, I'm barely able to handle five year olds much less have to get a long with a teenager. I'm sure there's women who would rise to that challenge. I'm not one of them.
He also was a New York transplant which means that he grew up and lived in another city for the majority of his life. He has no idea how New Yorkers operate. He can't fully appreciate the many wonders of my city. And we clashed on everything as a result. Especially sports!! I clearly ignored all the negatives (there's more) because he was tall and he played college football. If you truly know me, you know how much I love American football. It's actually scary to be honest. I can see myself ending up with someone who's butt ugly but because he's a former Cincinnati Bengal, I'm riding for him. 😂😩🙄
Well I woke up and realized what I was doing. I knew better! I know that it ultimately would not have worked out. I was waisting my time. However, all was not lost by this brief experience and that's why I'm writing this blog to you.
Dating is a learning experience. Every individual you give the time of day to can teach you something and sometimes they're sent to remind you of what you already know.
So it's okay that I temporarily settled for less... This was good for me as I realized that as much as I preach to you all about standing up for yourself, I myself got caught up. We all get caught up sometimes. But the next time you do, learn from it. Examine exactly why you were able to give up a little of your self worth. For me... it's because I have this unrealistic idea that I'd be happy with a football player because of my love for the game. But football is only one part of a person. That doesn't automatically make them good people. In fact, a few players are wife beaters. So I've decided to continue dating with more realistic expectations.
I think it'll work out just fine for me and I know it will work out for you to my pumpkins! And when it does, don't forget to thank me, because you knew I Couldn't Lie.
Xoxo Mandizzy
Don't Forget To Comment 😉
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Be careful what bridges you burn.
When you've walked out the door and ended a relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic in nature, be careful how you handle that door.
You can close the door. Let them bang. You can even lock it. But don't break off the knob.
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"A yo ma in the red shirt?"
"......."
"Ma you sexy, let me talk to you"
"....Me? Oh No thanks"
"Whatever B*tch, you wasn't all that anyway"
Ladies does this scenario sound too familiar?
And I bet often you want to reply or have replied and said...
"If you felt that way, than why even say anything at all??"
I mean why waste your breath trying talk to someone that wasn't all that
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By
Mandizzy
6:24:00 PM
crushes,
Ex,
flaws,
forgiveness,
Honesty,
lessons,
love,
men,
relationships,
resentment,
trust,
women
There can be a multitude of reasons for why someone has a hard time getting over their ex and moving on.
Fear of being on their own.
Their love for them is extremely deep.
They can't get past the pain.
That ex won't let them.
As I said in the previous post...
The key to getting over an ex is attacking the reason why it’s become so hard for you. If you've done all my suggestions and found that although you’re in a much better place than before you are still having a hard time letting the relationship go, it is no fault to you or to me but your journey requires additional soul searching and time. And that's okay. As I've said, some people take years to get over an ex.
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By
Mandizzy
9:00:00 PM
acceptance,
admirers,
crushes,
Ex,
flaws,
forgiveness,
lessons,
love,
men,
trust,
women
Special Thanksgiving Day Post!
A special reader sent me a question that kicked my butt trying to come up with a truthful, helpful, and realistic response. You see this question is a topic I haven't fully mastered myself. But of course, I've made sure that this post will be all of the above and hopefully a little more.
"How to get over an ex?"
I believe that getting over an ex-partner should be the easiest part of being in a relationship. I mean, after all you've went through, all the drama and pain and frustration, adjusting to life without all of those negative things should be easy... But for a lot of people it’s the hardest part. That's why this topic kicked my butt because there is no set formula to getting over a past relationship. But, I've researched and soul searched =) and evaluated how I've handled this kind of topic in the past and reviewed what did work and what did not work.
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I have always been a firm believer in that one “girl” who ruined it for the rest of us.
What “girl’ am I referring to?
The female who dated your boo before you…it was sometime in his past and it is the reason why he has a hard time trusting women, being faithful or being a good man at all.
“She” entered his world and made him vulnerable…he cared about her, almost fell in love with her (if he wasn’t already), catered to her, made her a priority in his life AND “she” for some reason we may never understand (possibly because guys in her pass conditioned her this way)…ends up breaking his heart.
Sometimes it’s intentional, other times it is by accident. The bottom line remains that this man is forever transformed by what “she” did to him. And the women that date him after…reap the repercussions.
Now the great news is that sometimes, eventually they get over what “
she” did and let love back into their lives. They move on and eventually find happiness in someone else. The bad news is that sometimes it takes them messing with dozens of women to get to that point. And those dozens of women have to deal with all the horrible things that “
she” is responsible for.
But in her defense…. “She” may have dated someone before this great guy, who had been forever changed because of the “girl” before her.
And so “she” often moves on to the next guy guarded, confused, and or vindictive in the next relationship. She may hate men or she doesn’t trust them…or both.
So how do we end this vicious cycle? …Or can we?
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