Why a good man USED to be hard to find?

By 8:47:00 PM , , , , , ,

Why a good man USED to be hard to find?

I thought this would be a great topic to start of the new month. And after getting a few stories that seemed to be the same problem, I decided this would be an appropriate time to get extremely real.

A Good Man!
We all want one whether we admit it to ourselves or not. But are ladies still looking for one?

Of course Mandizzy.
Why would women be looking for a bad one?!

Well...it’s not that they are necessarily looking for a bad man but they are usually settling for one. You see I've noticed how quickly the world love represents putting up with a lot of the bull shit that men throw your way.

He flirts with other women but.....I love him!
He lies to my face but you know.... I love him!
He stole from my momma’s house but honestly.....I love him.
He's been using me but I really....LOVE Him!

Some where along the lines women started settling for less than decent guys all in the name of love. So men are probably thinking...

Didn't Mary J Blidge say take me as I am...?

Men want a woman that's going to love them through their flaws and guess what? So do women. Women want a partner that will love them through their flaws as well.

I wholeheartedly believe this to be a reasonable desire but for some reason we don't know where to draw the line.
Some flaws just aren't worth loving through.

I'm a firm believer in everyone finding their less than perfect person but perfect for them none the less.
And I think if you believe you deserve that individual, when you're caught in situations where your significant other disrespects the relationship, you are able to walk away.
You can walk away because you know that there is someone much better out there who is truly right for you.

So how do I get myself to that point...?
How do I accept that the person I'm with may not be the right person for me? Or that the person I'm in love with has too many of the wrong flaws for me to pursue a future with? Or that I am worthy of a relationship where I can trust, support and believe in the person I'm with?

How do you accept and believe in all of those things?
It has to start within you. You have to believe all of those things for yourself. You have to unequivocally believe that you deserve more than what you've been settling for. You already know that their cheating ways or their lying or their physical or emotional abuse or disrespect is not right. When you evaluate why you remain with that person you find yourself just summing it up to being in love with that person. You fail to realize that loving them through these unacceptable flaws is only allowing yourself to settle for less than what you deserve, less than what is destined out there for you.

You have to believe that you are worthy of a relationship free from all of that. You have to demand that of yourself.

And often, women believe that because he genuinely may love you back that he represents what most confuse as "potential". And because we become almost satisfied with what they could be, we find ourselves nurturing and almost supporting what they really are.

I can't convince you as my faithful readers to realize your worth and to not settle.
I can only hope that you believe in what you are worth and that there will be someone better out there for you.

Are you gonna have to be vigilant and open to the possibility of getting let down a couple times before you find this right person?
Yeah you are.
But I want to promise you that finding that less than perfect person but perfect for you none the less is not only possible but attainable.
....You can't attain this person settling for what you want to believe is a good man but knowing deep down inside is not one.

Love can no longer be your excuse. But rather I would like to see it as a motivation to seek what you really deserve. The love for your self is what shall motivate you and the love for that person can no longer be an excuse.

This blog is dedicated all my many girlfriends who've settled in the name of love. Know that you are not alone. In fact so many women settle, that I've concluded that it used to be hard to find a good man. At this point I believe we as women have stopped looking. I just want men and women to know that after all the people that will break your heart and treat you as less than you deserve, there will come a long a person that will be different. This person is going to love and treat you the way a perfect person for you should. Honestly all you have to do is be open and believe this for yourself.

I write this blog with the ut most sincerity and hope you all Trust Me...Because I can't Lie.

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  1. Well said. Women have to know that it isnt love if they are the only ones loving!

  2. Amanda this was beautiful and it touched me deeply everything you said is so true and because women are so in love sometimes "we" as women get so caught up in love that we are no longer seeing things for what they really are. we allow "love" to replace reality and that's when we get hurt

  3. Thank you! It is so true that women allow love to trap them in a fictional world.

  4. Why can't you find a man Manda???

  5. I agree realize your worth and dont settle for less, look deeper than how good he looks or what car he's driving. My mother always said "Love whoe love you dont Love who u Love" and i use to be like "hugh" now that i am alot older and wiser i understand what she was talking about all she really had to say was love your self more than you do a man(but West Indian women they love to hear themselves talk..lol).

  6. I like how the person that asked why I can't find a man was anonymous and behaved as if they knew my personal life. LAUGHS.

  7. I do know your personal life and you speak as if uour a guru in relationships, take your own advice sometimes...

  8. well Mr. Anonymous or Mrs. Anonymous could hop off a bridge and kick rocks after...anyways i loved this post i undertsand exactly what you are trying to say...i feel like a lot of people now-a-days tend to just settle for whats there than to actually look within themselves and see that they deserve way more...this post goes both for women and men...good job girl and keep it coming.....
    Beuv. RR Severe

  9. Lmao! Bev it's definitely a guy. They were salty lol. I could be engaged....people think they know me but they really don't. I appreciate you having my back!

  10. you know what if that anonymous person is a guy no disrespect but he got a lil female in him. See blogs just like facebook is a place for you to speak aloud...we are always talking to ourselves through-out the day (well not everyone some people are just here dwelling, waste of space both physical and mental)sometimes we gotta let some of that mental rambling out. i think anonymous is a prankster, hater or someone that wants to start a blog but lack the mental capacity. lol

  11. I love this post Manda.....so many men and women just settle in the name of "love" but if the person you are with truly loves you they wouldn't disrespect you. They would respect you and the relationship.
    Mr. Anonymous or Mrs. Anonymous it is very obvious that this post hit a nerve with you. Its ok it happens to the best of us. There is no need to be bitter, no one is forcing you to read the blog, its by choice. If you don't like whats written then keep it moving. There are those of us we enjoy the blog and is very supportive.

    Keep it up Manda.

  12. LMAO @ Tamara. "Lack the mental capacity"

    Thanks Guys!!