I'm entirely too serious about this new rule. You see, I use to be a strong believer in guys and girls being capable of being just friends but I should have been more specific with what I meant.

Guys and girls can only be friends if they don't have feelings for each other. No attraction. No fantasy. No what ifs! Strictly platonic relationships that grow out of a mutual connection based on nothing other than a click in personalities. Is that specific enough?


Apparently, I've found myself guilty of being naïve enough to believe that a lot of my "male friends" just liked me as a friend.

I remember defending a lot of my male friendships as being strictly platonic. This was because I knew that if I didn't defend it, outside people who love to talk would personify what they want on it. And then what on the inside for me was just a friendship was a love affair from those being nosy on the outside.
And the story goes that several of them one by one, revealed eventually, how they really felt about me. I know, you’re probably thinking, well if they were friends with you.... and fell for you... what's the big deal??

You see most of them had these "feelings" since damn near the beginning of the friendship, so it felt like it was all a sham!
I usually didn't feel the same way...
And how awful is it to reject your close friend? Its a tough situation.

The bastards! Here I am preaching about guys and girls being able to be just friends and they who shall remain nameless decide to toy with my mind and propose the notion of being more than friends.

Now some of my male readers are probably like, you should of known that no man becomes friends with a girl without having a motive, but don't judge me, I did admit to being severely naïve.

A few male friends have been able to persuade me to take a chance on pursuing something more than just friends. And the only reason the chance seems worth it is because I felt that we were that close and I thought that our relationship could handle anything, even a potential break up. 
Clearly I didn't know what I was talking about. (Insert sad face) But this is what I was up against...
One of them actually made such a valid point that I couldn't refuse. He said...
"You give all these other clowns who you don't know a chance...and they end up disappointing you...why not take a chance on someone you actually know cares about you" How do you reject that?!
But of course, it didn't work out and we actually are no longer friends because I never felt as strongly about him as he did for me. (Insert sad face again)

Now by no means am I implying that there can no longer be a friendship... but I can testify that it is never the same.
And hence where "Can't be Friends" by Trey Songz comes in.

Let's just say that I'm no longer "best friends" or "good friends" with any of them any longer. Still friends with most of them but I just don't see the point in having the bff title anymore. And I think they would all agree. It was not necessarily because of how they felt, but because after a while are you really supposed to keep the best friend sham up if you don't necessarily want to be just her friend? I don't think so. And most men won't. They eventually get tired of hearing about all the guys that hurt you or they are over hearing about how you wish you could find someone.

Do I sound bitter? Hell yeah!
I really appreciated the friendships and they had to go and ruin it by liking me and stuff. And now like Trey said... We Can't Be Friends!

So why did I just get real personal?!

Because my faithful reader posed to me this great question not being aware of my Bias towards male and female friendships turned relationships. But since I can't lie, I promise to put all my Biases away and answer her question.

So can I just note how funny it is that you took him telling you, you may be confusing the two types of loves as rejection!
Don't cut yourself short....we're going to get to the bottom of this together.

You explained everything to me when you said "kind of like love and basketball without the basketball"
That implies that you've had relations before.... And trust me when I say that's okay. In fact, that's most likely the reason why you feel you're in love with him.

Honestly I don't think your confusing the two. You've been in love before and you know how it feels. And you know how it feels to have love for a friend. There is a clear difference and I am almost positive that you've understood the difference. You're questioning your feelings only because he agreed that you may be.
But what was he supposed to say...
You pose to a man that you may be in love with him but you also may be confusing it with the love you've always had for him and was he really supposed to tell YOU how YOU felt?
I am pretty sure if you approached him and said that you were in love with him without posing the possibility of it just being confusion on your part, you probably would have gotten a different answer.
You see by posing the possibility of confusion he could be reading that as you not wanting to have these feelings. So he therefore agrees with you because confusion sounds much better than  I love you but I don't wanna be with you. Just like you may be afraid of rejection, he may be as well.

He's your best friend... Don't sugarcoat what's going on. There is no need beat around the bush.

The worst that could happen is that he doesn't feel the same way and he remains your best friend...
Does it sound so bad once you read it aloud to yourself?
Eventually, we have to reach a point in our lives where rejection should no longer be the reason we are not honest with the ones we truly love.
I'm sure you've gotten the memo.....life’s extremely short. So short that I'm almost positive that October got swallowed from the calendar.  (Am I the only person that feels like it went from September to Halloween Day to November?)
The best part about rejection...and yes there is a positive part to being rejected...the best part about rejection is that it is only a temporary feeling.
Have you heard of someone being depressed for their entire life over that one person that didn't want to be with them?
I haven't! So know that whatever feelings of despair you may acquire, will eventually fade and you will move on.
And guess what...he will still be your best friend after all of it.

But I know you won't be happy unless you at least try.
You do love him and you do want to be with him. So I suggest approaching him with those exact words. Tell him it’s not confusion and you do know the difference between the two feelings. He's your best friend...I hope he's just as honest with you as you are with him. And if it works out, let me know because I will personally lift this new rule I've configured for myself!

I know my post is titled in a way that implies you shouldn't date male best friends and guy friends but I would never tell my faithful readers not to take a chance on love. I just want to warn you that the decision is not to be taken lightly.

You see sweetheart, once you make that decision to be more than "friends" there is no going back to what you may have been before. 

Being honest is important in any relationship especially in friendships...but most importantly being honest is important between you and me so you should Trust Me...Because I Can't Lie