Trust Me... I Can't Lie

Believe me, I've tried, but I cannot tell a lie.

Part 2: Why isn't it easy when it should be?

By 6:24:00 PM , , , , , , , , , , ,

There can be a multitude of reasons for why someone has a hard time getting over their ex and moving on.

Fear of being on their own.
Their love for them is extremely deep.
They can't get past the pain.
That ex won't let them.

As I said in the previous post...
The key to getting over an ex is attacking the reason why it’s become so hard for you.  If you've done all my suggestions and found that although you’re in a much better place than before you are still having a hard time letting the relationship go, it is no fault to you or to me but your journey requires additional soul searching and time. And that's okay. As I've said, some people take years to get over an ex.
The biggest reason why it may be hard to get over an ex is because you simply do not want to move on. You've accepted that you are no longer with that person but you haven't accepted that you can't be with that person.
You have to want to move on. You have to want to be free of this past relationship. Sometimes our brain tells us we need move on but our heart does not want to and we are then caught up at a standstill in our journey. You've got to do it for you. Not anyone else but for you. Know that staying stuck on this relationship is not in any way shape or form healthy for you. You are again allowing them to remain in your life from afar. And often while you’re in your room trying to figure out where it all went wrong, that person is out living their life and doing them. You deserve better and so I ask that you accept that you deserve better.

Try this silly but helpful exercise.
Stand in front of the mirror and give yourself a few compliments in your head and then out loud I want you to say I love you and you deserve better than what I've been doing to you.
I believe that when you're stuck at this standstill in your journey it’s because you've been trapping yourself into believing that by not letting go, you are preserving this possibility that the two of you will reunite. That persons going to change and their going to come back to you a new person that's going to love you? Do right by you?
My darlings the odds are against you and I'm sorry for being the bearer of bad news but you've got to let go of these fictitious ideas. 

You fear being alone again?

I understand that the fear is sometimes more frightening than the reality. The reality is that you are probably not alone. You've most likely got a multitude of family and friends that love you and care about you. And should you ever feel like that's not enough, lean on someone greater. You see with God there is never a need to fear being alone because if you know about him you know he never leaves you.
The fear of being alone presumes that you’re not worthy of being loved by another. Don't sell yourself short; the possibility of finding another is always there. You see the fear is so below who you are as a person. Fear lions! Fear losing your job! Fear murders and rapist and thieves! Don't fear being alone.

They Won't Let You Move On
How annoying is the ex that won't let you go or refuses to let you move on? These are the ones who want to be friends, who want to still see you on the regular, who pop up repeatedly and make you their "Backburner boo".
They apologize, draw you right back in only to repeat the same games and nonsense again. They are a huge part of the reason you are still holding onto the fictional idea of them miraculously changing into the partner you know deep down you deserve. If they keep repeating the same behavior, if they keep forcing their way back into your life, it’s time for you to push them and their trifling behavior back out of your life for good. Understand and recognize the power they've got over your life!

You've got this great amazing person out there waiting for you, yes you! ...and yet they can't find you because you’re too busy repeating the same sorry cycle for yourself. I want you to take control. You have to take control. Allow that great person to find you and sweep you off your feet and do right by you. How do you expect that to happen if you’re stuck in this cycle? They don't have to let you go but YOU HAVE TO LET GO!

You Can't Get Past The Pain
When you put all you are as a person into a relationship and that relationship fails for whatever reason your strength is tested.
Pain is often an unavoidable consequence to the demise of a relationship. Often you literally feel the pain in your chest, near your heart. HEARTBRAKE
it’s a horrible feeling and most of us can have a difficult time dealing with it, but I'm here to offer a little bit of hope to the brokenhearted and weary.
Most people are stronger than they think. And I believe that for everyone I know. The truth is that everyone has their own specific way of dealing with pain but what I need you to do is be tougher than the pain. The pain wants to consume you, it wants to control you, it wants to make you feel weak but you know what, you and I both are going to accept that you are stronger than the pain. The pain comes from a relationship that wasn't meant to be, but what was meant to be was your freedom from that union.
You are an amazing individual; you have done the toughest part of your journey by enduring that toxic relationship. You are free, free to do things that only a strong individual like your self can do.
Don't let the pain hold you back from living your life.
Do not let them retain such a power over you even after it’s over. 
And if ever, the pain is so overwhelming, take it to someone who knows pain all too well, Jesus.
I didn't want to preach in my blog because I'm a firm believer in respecting everyone’s own personal beliefs but sometimes when all else fails, you've got to try him.

In Closing...
This journey will test you. I expect many of you to relapse and go back to that bad relationship; I myself am guilty of serially making that unfortunate and misguided mistake. I also expect you to rush into a new relationship and sometimes it will work out better. And as much as I believe space between each relationship is necessary, if you're this awesome amazing person, it will be hard to not continuously attract someone’s interest. So maybe you eventually get tired of turning people down and you give that one person a try. Don't revert back to feeling down and out after the next relationship you gave a try doesn't work out as well. Your less than perfect person but perfect for you is out there.
I believe it and I need you to accept it because Trust Me...I Can't Lie.

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  1. When all else fails, fall bak on god. i learned dat da hard way but im happy dat i did nd i wasnt even dat religious!!! great stuff as alwayz love muahzzz ~Ally