You might always hear people say how hard relationships are to maintain. But how about all the work that a person puts in while they're single.....
As a single person there are a mountain of issues and drama that you go through as well. Whoever said being single was getting off easy, they lied! And since I can't tell a lie you should know that being single is a job in itself.
"But why Mandizzy? What makes being single so difficult?
I am so glad you asked!
The entire dating process itself can leave anyone drained. I mean even when your not looking, individuals just seem to plop into your lap. When your dating, all the drama of a committed relationship can almost be maximized depending on how many people you are seeing. Let's not even get into having to divide your time up between each person.
What always kills me is that single....non committed....people always feel like the person they're dating is supposed to be seeing ONLY them. Forgive me if I'm wrong but I thought that the whole purpose of dating was to swim the waters, meeting different fish until you find the one that can help you make some good shrimp! Until you have "the talk" consider your "boo" free to do them and if you have a problem with that....you better establish some sort of commitment.
And you see that's where a lot of single drama can come from, the person you're dating getting jealous, offended or feeling disrespected by the fact that you're seeing them and someone else.
And I know what some of you may say
"Mandizzy, if I'm sleeping with them, acting like a couple, and falling for them, I don't need a title, it should be expected to be faithful to our relationship"
And to that I'm going to have to disagree....because what you expect and what they expect can change all the time and unless you've verbally or digitally* established that you're committed, you will be severely let down when they show you just how uncommitted they are. At that point imma say you have no one to blame but your naive self.
But its not just dating that leaves you tired and exhausted, its everything that goes along with not having someone. I mean don't you get annoyed being the third wheel when it was just supposed to be you and the homey, and I bet you can't stand when friends and family ask you the following "why are you still single?" Or "when are you gonna settle down?" Or my personal favorite "you want me to set you up with someone?"
After a while it gets depressing. You become conditioned to believe that something is wrong with you for not having a problem being single.
You also have the people you'd just never consider dating who just seem to believe with all their heart that they're meant for you. Let's call these people Extreme Admirers (I had to give them a name because they're probably gonna get mentioned a lot in my blog entries). They're usually border line stalkers and you have probably thought of seeing the local precinct about getting a restraining order.
They are the people who see your status of being single as an invitation to constantly try and get you to commit to them.
They're mentality will always be forget dating, let's just be together.
If I recall, I graduated elementary school a long time ago, relationships are no longer as simple as "oo he's cute or "she's got a body". Its ridiculous that most of you guys still operate that way. The whole love at first Facebook glance bugs me out! He's probably missing two front teeth and she's probably lacking any real body parts.
Bottom Line is that "Single" does not always equal available. And the fact that some don't understand that can stress any sane single person out.
And Finally......
Single people almost always have to deal with that one person who REFUSES to commit.
You will get every excuse in the book of excuses and some from the old testament of excuses as well. I mean I've heard excuses that took it to an entire new level. I think my favorite one so far has go to be the....
"I don't do girlfriends but maybe in the future"
I have two issues with that oxymoron of a statement.
One....If you don't do girlfriends how can you at the same time promise the possibility of wanting one in the future, you can't "almost do" something when it comes to having a significant other. How bout you just say your not looking for a girlfriend right now. That would make much more sense.
Two... Maybe you missed the memo but the Future is infinite. Your gonna have to give a time frame or something. Is it the near future, say 3 months future the far future say 3 years future??
How ambiguous of you? And usually this is done on purpose by not only guys but females as well.
Now that Mandizzy has pointed out the blatant error of your ways I don't wanna hear that phrase being used anywhereee!!
As you can see, being single is a lot of work. So stop thinking that being in a relationship is so difficult, remember how it was before the question of "will you be my boo?" Because darling...
Trust Me.... I can't Lie.
